So, I generally try to keep my blog posts on a happy note. But, sometimes they hit a serious note, and tonight, I'm going to get real.
I hate asking people for help. It sucks to admit that my body is not working the way it's supposed to, and there's nothing I can do about it.
You see, this past summer, my shoulder started to ache, then the ache got worse, then it became a sharp pain. Figuring that when I got back to school and quit using it as often it would stop hurting, we basically ignored the pain. Then, I got to school, but the pain didn't stop. In fact, it was just getting worse. After an xray, a failed MRI (turns out I'm actually quite claustrophobic), and finally a successful MRI, it was discovered that I not only had torn two ligaments in my shoulder, but I had fluid buildup in a ligament, a swollen tendon, and a bone spur.
Needless to say, my shoulder wasn't happy with me. Trying to avoid surgery, if possible, the surgeon gave me a cortisone shot. While it did improve my range of motion, it didn't ease my pain at all. Then, one night as I was leaving class, I oh-so-gracefully (in case you don't know me, that is TOTAL sarcasm. It was far from graceful) slipped down some stairs, and hit my shoulder on my way down, causing even more pain.
But, I'm not here to write you all a sob story or get your pity (although your prayers would be much appreciated). I'm telling you all this because, even though it's inconvenient and unpleasant at times, this is a small hiccup. God has a lesson for me somewhere in this injury. Whether it's humbling myself enough to actually ask for prayer and help when I struggle with simple, everyday tasks or just trying to show me how much I still have to be thankful for, I know that God will bring some good out of this. I'm constantly reminded of all the wonderful things in my life. I have some of the greatest doctors, and even though I dread going to appointments regarding my shoulder, I know I'm lucky to have the healthcare I have. I have wonderful friends and an amazing family who all keep me in their prayers. I was lucky enough to have my baby brother come home for Christmas even though we didn't think he was going to make it home this year. I am going to my dream school to pursue a degree that will allow me to teach. I could make this list go on and on, but I don't think any of you would feel like reading all that.
Long story short, despite struggles, I am still deeply blessed, and thankful for a loving God who reveals my blessings to me daily.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl❤
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Monday, December 8, 2014
CrazyGirl Procrastinates
Hello my lovely readers!
I realize it has been a while since I've written here, and I'm sorry for that. It's been slightly crazy this semester, trying to balance school, a social life, and back and forth trips for doctor's appointments concerning my shoulder.
I'm writing right now partially because I'm procrastinating on studying any more (considering I already took a final this morning) and my brain feels fried, and partially because I've noticed something. We all joke about how finals week is terrible and hard and no one seems to want to survive. But, as I look around me, I feel like that isn't entirely a joke. I am not someone to study until I'm so stressed I can't see straight because I know that makes me do worse on the tests, but I'm watching as people give up sleep and eating and functioning properly for finals. It's craziness. So, trying NOT to become one of the zombies who can't form a full thought, I figured it was time to take a break, write on my blog, and do something I did a few years ago. Write a poem. Yes, a poem about finals week. So, here goes nothing.
I realize it has been a while since I've written here, and I'm sorry for that. It's been slightly crazy this semester, trying to balance school, a social life, and back and forth trips for doctor's appointments concerning my shoulder.
I'm writing right now partially because I'm procrastinating on studying any more (considering I already took a final this morning) and my brain feels fried, and partially because I've noticed something. We all joke about how finals week is terrible and hard and no one seems to want to survive. But, as I look around me, I feel like that isn't entirely a joke. I am not someone to study until I'm so stressed I can't see straight because I know that makes me do worse on the tests, but I'm watching as people give up sleep and eating and functioning properly for finals. It's craziness. So, trying NOT to become one of the zombies who can't form a full thought, I figured it was time to take a break, write on my blog, and do something I did a few years ago. Write a poem. Yes, a poem about finals week. So, here goes nothing.
Finals Week 2014
Where's the coffee? The sugar? The cream?
This final is crazy, I think I might scream.
The library is full of studying classmates,
Physics, Biology -- Do we need to know the states?!?
I lost my notes, my computer crashed,
I've eaten my entire chocolate stash.
Put on makeup? That's a joke.
I'm watching my education go up in smoke.
It's just one week, you'd think we'd be okay.
We're trying to study, but Facebook is in the way.
What is sleep? That one's new.
That's not something we get to do.
An IV of coffee should do the job,
The girl over there has started to sob.
The brink of insanity, it seems is near,
As each of us enters our finals with fear.
Someone in here in starting to snore,
(Was that girl in this class before?)
I know a career will be worth all this stress,
but right now the whole school is a mess.
So much of our grade rests on this week,
which means stress levels have started to peak.
If we survive, Christmas break will be here,
but right now, we're lacking Christmas cheer.
Prayers are appreciated (or gifts with caffeine)
Maybe you could give us a time machine.
So we could listen to that lecture one more time,
And make sure the info is stored in our mind.
To my fellow students, as this week commences,
I hope we all don't lose our senses.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl♥
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
CrazyGirl observes Clothes
Just hear me out, okay? I'm not about to write about how much I love clothes and matching outfits or making clothes (all of which are true, but irrelevant to this post). I'm writing from the heart today, about something that affected me, and many close to me; self-image.
The reason I titled this post as an observation of clothes, is because I think a lot of self-image issues start in the clothing stores. And, more and more lately, this has been brought to my attention. Just within the past month I have found out that American Eagle has made their clothing sizes smaller, so a friend who is much smaller than I now wears a size 14. Which is bologna. She is NOT a size 14, at least not in real people sizes. I was also shown a picture of Victoria's Secret's "plus size" model (who is about the size of my pinky finger). Then today, I came across an article about the store of growing popularity; Brandy Melville. Apparently they only sell size small or "one size fits most" clothing, and have a reputation for telling customers that they aren't allowed to try on clothes because they are "too big" and "will stretch out the clothes." (Disclaimer: I have not experienced this first-hand, just read about it in the article I came across which is available at Huffington Post)
Some of you might shake your heads, maybe give a snort of disapproval and move on. But, you see, this infuriates me. And I am NOT being dramatic about that. Almost nothing gets me as heated as seeing the way these brand name stores shame this generation into starvation.
You see, I was one of those girls who struggled with body image. Looking at my much thinner friends, and especially my much thinner squad mates, I looked at myself and all I could think was "F.A.T." I saw no beauty when I looked in that mirror and I absolutely hated myself. I struggled with jealousy that my friends could be so effortlessly beautiful. I hated the fact that I could eat half of what they ate and gain twice as much weight. And, especially after I joined the cheer squad and just BARELY fit into the extra large uniform, I didn't see any quality about myself other than that I was FAT. I hid my shame behind jokes, because if I could crack the joke first, at least they'd be laughing more WITH me than AT me. I hated that my "huge" butt could only fit into a 10-12. I was convinced I was hideous. Now I look at those pictures and wonder where I got that notion. I looked AWESOME!
But, the truth is, I was listening to society. Which was telling me I was a size 2x, and that I was too big for the juniors clothes and with utter mortification had to shop in the WOMEN'S section (which disappointingly at some stores has very old-lady style clothing. . .) I also did not take into consideration PROPORTIONS. I had a solid four or five inches in height over my friends, but still expected to fit in the same tiny jeans. I also had a VERY different build from my friends. I've learned over the years that I was not built to be a tiny, stick-thin girl. My body is not made that way. I am what some call "curvy." And I've come to accept that. That doesn't give me the right to neglect my body and allow myself to become an unhealthy weight. It just means that this absurd dream from my high school years of being a double zero is just that; absurd.
I just think, that maybe instead of supporting brand names that tear down girls self-esteem, we need to start supporting the brands that help them accept themselves exactly how they are. One of the reasons I love Old Navy is that their jeans run in sizes that reflect real people. As opposed to say American Eagle, or (although I love this store) Target.
I read a quote the other day that "The girl in the ad, doesn't even look like the girl in the ad." I've seen push for more "realness" to be reflected in our society. But, we as friends and family members need to be careful what we say, because often the smallest of comments can scar for a lifetime. I can still hear every fat joke someone else said about me. Heck, I still remember in FIRST grade when I was gleefully jumping off the playground platform in my dress because I like the way it poofed out, and some girl came up to me and said "You know, you look like a parachute because you're the SIZE of one." Who knows, maybe if we brought our daughters up to believe there's more to a person than the tag on her jeans, and we encouraged people to look beyond the superficial this would be less of an issue. All I really know is that THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.
We as individuals have got to stop commenting on size. We need to stop this constant internet war of posting that "Real men like a curvy woman" versus "This [insert picture of skinny woman] is more attractive than THIS [insert picture of wider woman]" We shouldn't be reduced to our size. So, let's stop encouraging that. God created each and every one of us in HIS OWN IMAGE.
JUST. THE. WAY. WE. ARE.
So, why are we judging that, degrading that, and causing each other to hate that? I, for one, would like to be known for who I am rather than what size jeans I wear. Which is why I make every effort to not judge my fellow sisters in Christ for their size.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl♥
The reason I titled this post as an observation of clothes, is because I think a lot of self-image issues start in the clothing stores. And, more and more lately, this has been brought to my attention. Just within the past month I have found out that American Eagle has made their clothing sizes smaller, so a friend who is much smaller than I now wears a size 14. Which is bologna. She is NOT a size 14, at least not in real people sizes. I was also shown a picture of Victoria's Secret's "plus size" model (who is about the size of my pinky finger). Then today, I came across an article about the store of growing popularity; Brandy Melville. Apparently they only sell size small or "one size fits most" clothing, and have a reputation for telling customers that they aren't allowed to try on clothes because they are "too big" and "will stretch out the clothes." (Disclaimer: I have not experienced this first-hand, just read about it in the article I came across which is available at Huffington Post)
Some of you might shake your heads, maybe give a snort of disapproval and move on. But, you see, this infuriates me. And I am NOT being dramatic about that. Almost nothing gets me as heated as seeing the way these brand name stores shame this generation into starvation.
You see, I was one of those girls who struggled with body image. Looking at my much thinner friends, and especially my much thinner squad mates, I looked at myself and all I could think was "F.A.T." I saw no beauty when I looked in that mirror and I absolutely hated myself. I struggled with jealousy that my friends could be so effortlessly beautiful. I hated the fact that I could eat half of what they ate and gain twice as much weight. And, especially after I joined the cheer squad and just BARELY fit into the extra large uniform, I didn't see any quality about myself other than that I was FAT. I hid my shame behind jokes, because if I could crack the joke first, at least they'd be laughing more WITH me than AT me. I hated that my "huge" butt could only fit into a 10-12. I was convinced I was hideous. Now I look at those pictures and wonder where I got that notion. I looked AWESOME!
I just think, that maybe instead of supporting brand names that tear down girls self-esteem, we need to start supporting the brands that help them accept themselves exactly how they are. One of the reasons I love Old Navy is that their jeans run in sizes that reflect real people. As opposed to say American Eagle, or (although I love this store) Target.
I read a quote the other day that "The girl in the ad, doesn't even look like the girl in the ad." I've seen push for more "realness" to be reflected in our society. But, we as friends and family members need to be careful what we say, because often the smallest of comments can scar for a lifetime. I can still hear every fat joke someone else said about me. Heck, I still remember in FIRST grade when I was gleefully jumping off the playground platform in my dress because I like the way it poofed out, and some girl came up to me and said "You know, you look like a parachute because you're the SIZE of one." Who knows, maybe if we brought our daughters up to believe there's more to a person than the tag on her jeans, and we encouraged people to look beyond the superficial this would be less of an issue. All I really know is that THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.
We as individuals have got to stop commenting on size. We need to stop this constant internet war of posting that "Real men like a curvy woman" versus "This [insert picture of skinny woman] is more attractive than THIS [insert picture of wider woman]" We shouldn't be reduced to our size. So, let's stop encouraging that. God created each and every one of us in HIS OWN IMAGE.
JUST. THE. WAY. WE. ARE.
So, why are we judging that, degrading that, and causing each other to hate that? I, for one, would like to be known for who I am rather than what size jeans I wear. Which is why I make every effort to not judge my fellow sisters in Christ for their size.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl♥
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
CrazyGirl observes Perspective
So, lately I've been thinking. About our society, and their views on Jesus and Christianity. And to be 110% honest, society has it all wrong.
First and foremost, society (for the most part) seems to think that the Holy Trinity is this loving, teddy-bear-like, wish-granting thing that Christians use to have an oh-so-happy life. FALSE. Our God is indeed loving, but that love comes right alongside a wrath. I mean, think about it, God saw all the evil on the earth, and the evil intentions of man, but he didn't sit down and have a heart-to-heart with man. He didn't say "No no. Go in time out." No. God wiped out the Earth. *BAM* Huge flood, no people left except Noah and his family (and of course all the animals). Or look at Sodom and Gommorah; you know, where the people were living in sin and had turned away from God to fulfill their earthly desires? God didn't give them a little smack on their hand and hope that would do the trick; he wiped them out. And when Lot's wife didn't listen and looked back? She became a pillar of salt . . . salt. God also states in Romans that "the wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people . . . For although they knew God they neither glorified him nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened . . . Because of this God gave them over to sinful lusts . . . Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things, but approve of those who practice them." I'm sorry, but if that doesn't shatter this "teddy bear," "let's-all-just-live-in-peace" idea of who God is, then I can't really help you.
The other thing I've noticed is that when Jesus was here on the Earth, in the flesh of man, he was NOT afraid to step on toes. You didn't agree with his theology? Too bad. He was getting his wisdom from the Most High, and that kinda trumps your flawed, human theology.
The thing is, a lot of people think that if you're a Christian you are supposed to be this little, goody-two-shoes, who goes to church every Sunday and is basically perfect. Either that or you are the most raging hypocrite they have ever crossed paths with and you just need to go to You-Know-Where and usually a few other choice words follow those statements. But, God didn't send his son so we can sit in a pew on Sundays and judge the other people in our church. Jesus didn't die on a cross so we can have potlucks and gossip-fests. Not that fellowship isn't important, because it definitely is, but we've reached a point where our fellowship is our faith. God called us to be fishers of men, not back row baptists. We're supposed to be out in the world, sharing the Good News, even if we step on some toes along the way. Now, as a church, I think we tend to focus on these HUGE issues, like war, gay marriage, teen pregnancy, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, etc. But, at the risk of stepping on a few toes, maybe we ought to start closer to home; literally.
You see, I think we could combat these issues more easily if we started admitting we have issues of our own. It's so hard to let others know you are struggling, but that's why God wants us to fellowship. And the thing is, so many Christians have lost touch with the Biblical idea of marriage. One man. One woman. The man is to be the head of the household. Wives are supposed to submit to their husbands. I don't mean that women get no say and we need to go back to the "old" ways. But, as a body of Christ, we need to start looking at the flaws modern feminism presents to a Biblical standard of marriage.
God designed us differently on purpose. He created women with a natural tendency to nurture. He created men with a natural desire to provide. Woman came out of man's rib, so that she could be a partner and supporter to him in his life. I'm not saying women are lesser than men, but simply that we are created with a different purpose in mind. God gave us the abilities needed to care for a home, God gave men the role of provider. But lately we have pushed this idea that women have equal rights and women need to be exactly equal to men so much that the idea of a woman caring for the household is considered absurd. But, if the woman is working equally as much as the man, and neither can be "lowered" (I don't actually mean that, but I've heard the term used before when referring to being a housewife) to the task of child-rearing, where does that leave the children? If the children of this generation have no backbone at home, no example of marriage built on partnership and God's ideal for marriage, then they will suffer greatly when it comes time to build a marriage of their own. The less structure these children have, the more loose their morals become, and when the generation as a whole has loosened morals we end up in a world with some crazy ideas of normal. To quote one of my favorite bands, where the singer is talking about writing to the President of the United States to address some issues he sings "Same sex marriage in a state where they don't care, murder is wrong, but the jail time's not fair, not to mention date rape, felony, and car theft, break it down and tell me what we got left." Think about how normal some of these things are. And their normalcy will just continue to grow if we don't give children a structured home life, which again starts with a biblically based marriage. Later, in that same song, we come to the bridge where the singer brings up "Take a good look at Tommy, he's a track star, good role model, has a chance to go real far. Then the school made a budget cut, cut out the track team, now instead Tommy is a crackhead." As a junior higher, listening to Hawk Nelson, I thought this was a rather clever line and it made me giggle. But, as I've grown older and began my studies to be a teacher, I realized the very heavy truth behind it. Not only are our children suffering at the expense of us and our government, but what about the fact that the only stability in "Tommy's" life was school and track? Where are the parents of this generation? Why is the school system being depended upon for the raising of your children? There are so many flaws in thinking that the school should be raising your child for you. (But I won't get into those now, I could write like three blog posts about that.)
Anyway, to summarize what I've just babbled at you; we have crept away from the biblical standards for marriage, it's affecting the quality of marriages, it's affecting children, and it's affecting our society as a whole. We can start to fix a number of problems, but it needs to start at home, a Christ-centered home.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl♥
First and foremost, society (for the most part) seems to think that the Holy Trinity is this loving, teddy-bear-like, wish-granting thing that Christians use to have an oh-so-happy life. FALSE. Our God is indeed loving, but that love comes right alongside a wrath. I mean, think about it, God saw all the evil on the earth, and the evil intentions of man, but he didn't sit down and have a heart-to-heart with man. He didn't say "No no. Go in time out." No. God wiped out the Earth. *BAM* Huge flood, no people left except Noah and his family (and of course all the animals). Or look at Sodom and Gommorah; you know, where the people were living in sin and had turned away from God to fulfill their earthly desires? God didn't give them a little smack on their hand and hope that would do the trick; he wiped them out. And when Lot's wife didn't listen and looked back? She became a pillar of salt . . . salt. God also states in Romans that "the wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people . . . For although they knew God they neither glorified him nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened . . . Because of this God gave them over to sinful lusts . . . Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things, but approve of those who practice them." I'm sorry, but if that doesn't shatter this "teddy bear," "let's-all-just-live-in-peace" idea of who God is, then I can't really help you.
The other thing I've noticed is that when Jesus was here on the Earth, in the flesh of man, he was NOT afraid to step on toes. You didn't agree with his theology? Too bad. He was getting his wisdom from the Most High, and that kinda trumps your flawed, human theology.
The thing is, a lot of people think that if you're a Christian you are supposed to be this little, goody-two-shoes, who goes to church every Sunday and is basically perfect. Either that or you are the most raging hypocrite they have ever crossed paths with and you just need to go to You-Know-Where and usually a few other choice words follow those statements. But, God didn't send his son so we can sit in a pew on Sundays and judge the other people in our church. Jesus didn't die on a cross so we can have potlucks and gossip-fests. Not that fellowship isn't important, because it definitely is, but we've reached a point where our fellowship is our faith. God called us to be fishers of men, not back row baptists. We're supposed to be out in the world, sharing the Good News, even if we step on some toes along the way. Now, as a church, I think we tend to focus on these HUGE issues, like war, gay marriage, teen pregnancy, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, etc. But, at the risk of stepping on a few toes, maybe we ought to start closer to home; literally.
You see, I think we could combat these issues more easily if we started admitting we have issues of our own. It's so hard to let others know you are struggling, but that's why God wants us to fellowship. And the thing is, so many Christians have lost touch with the Biblical idea of marriage. One man. One woman. The man is to be the head of the household. Wives are supposed to submit to their husbands. I don't mean that women get no say and we need to go back to the "old" ways. But, as a body of Christ, we need to start looking at the flaws modern feminism presents to a Biblical standard of marriage.
God designed us differently on purpose. He created women with a natural tendency to nurture. He created men with a natural desire to provide. Woman came out of man's rib, so that she could be a partner and supporter to him in his life. I'm not saying women are lesser than men, but simply that we are created with a different purpose in mind. God gave us the abilities needed to care for a home, God gave men the role of provider. But lately we have pushed this idea that women have equal rights and women need to be exactly equal to men so much that the idea of a woman caring for the household is considered absurd. But, if the woman is working equally as much as the man, and neither can be "lowered" (I don't actually mean that, but I've heard the term used before when referring to being a housewife) to the task of child-rearing, where does that leave the children? If the children of this generation have no backbone at home, no example of marriage built on partnership and God's ideal for marriage, then they will suffer greatly when it comes time to build a marriage of their own. The less structure these children have, the more loose their morals become, and when the generation as a whole has loosened morals we end up in a world with some crazy ideas of normal. To quote one of my favorite bands, where the singer is talking about writing to the President of the United States to address some issues he sings "Same sex marriage in a state where they don't care, murder is wrong, but the jail time's not fair, not to mention date rape, felony, and car theft, break it down and tell me what we got left." Think about how normal some of these things are. And their normalcy will just continue to grow if we don't give children a structured home life, which again starts with a biblically based marriage. Later, in that same song, we come to the bridge where the singer brings up "Take a good look at Tommy, he's a track star, good role model, has a chance to go real far. Then the school made a budget cut, cut out the track team, now instead Tommy is a crackhead." As a junior higher, listening to Hawk Nelson, I thought this was a rather clever line and it made me giggle. But, as I've grown older and began my studies to be a teacher, I realized the very heavy truth behind it. Not only are our children suffering at the expense of us and our government, but what about the fact that the only stability in "Tommy's" life was school and track? Where are the parents of this generation? Why is the school system being depended upon for the raising of your children? There are so many flaws in thinking that the school should be raising your child for you. (But I won't get into those now, I could write like three blog posts about that.)
Anyway, to summarize what I've just babbled at you; we have crept away from the biblical standards for marriage, it's affecting the quality of marriages, it's affecting children, and it's affecting our society as a whole. We can start to fix a number of problems, but it needs to start at home, a Christ-centered home.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl♥
Friday, September 12, 2014
CrazyGirl observes Older Sisters
How many of you have older sisters? Yeah. I have one too. And the truth is, we didn't have the sugar-coated relationship that people seem to assume happens when you and your sister are close in age. In fact, for most of my childhood we fought. I can remember countless games of Barbie dolls where Lauren wanted something I had and she threatened to quit playing if I didn't give it to her. And I was definitely the MASTER at pushing her buttons (but only I was allowed to do so; you messed with her, I'd kick your butt.) I so wanted to be the opposite of her. She started wearing make-up? Fine. I wanted nothing to do with the nasty crap. She liked back to school shopping? I hated it. She spent time curling her hair before school? Cool. I was going to roll out of bed and throw mine into a ponytail. We would not be alike. I was determined.
I figured that when she left for school, we would just eliminate the copious amounts of fighting that went on through junior high and high school. But, then I started noticing the other changes. I lost the person who knew the most about me. I lost my closest friend and strongest ally. I quickly began to notice the gigantic hole that had been left.
Amazingly, through God's plan, we ended up at Simpson together for this past school year. It was like realizing I'd had a built in best friend all those years, and I had taken her for granted. The thing is, after those three years where she wasn't right down the hall (or now down the road), I'm realizing just how amazing a woman God has placed in my life. She's smart and beautiful, and funny. She puts up with all of me (which is an amazing feat in itself), and still will call me up to hang out. She's got a strong relationship with God, and an inner beauty that reflects it. Everyone who meets her is endeared by her. And I am thanking God everyday for giving me the opportunity to be her sister and the honor to be her friend (FINALLY).
The thing is, God only gives us the siblings we have. Sometimes they might be annoying (I'm the master at that). Sometimes they hurt our feelings. But, all in all, they're our family and God blessed us with them. Don't take that for granted.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl♥
Thursday, September 11, 2014
I'm BAAAAACCCK!
Hey lovely followers♥
I apologize for my silence. I had some, er, technical difficulties (AKA my computer didn't want to connect to the internet) which kept me from my blog. In case you didn't know, I MISSED YOU GUYS. I love this blog and all my wonderful followers. And, that's what brings me to the point of this post.
As I may have mentioned before, I can check my "stats" or see how many times what post has been viewed by people other than myself, or where my followers are reading from, etc. It's pretty nice just to know that since I've been silent, people have continued to read my blog. Whether they stumbled across it by random happenstance, or read it because they know me and wanted to be supportive, or just wanted to know if someone out there was as crazy as them, I don't know. But, my numbers have gone up. Now PLEASE do not mistake that for me being all about the numbers. I honestly would probably continue to write this blog even if no one was reading regularly.
Twice in the past week, I have been told by friends that they read my blog and it made a connection. I couldn't ask for anything more from my blog. It's not famous, it's not fancy, and I know not everyone agrees with me. But to make a connection with someone, for something I wrote to strike a note with someone else, well, it's humbling. Here I am, sitting at a laptop, typing away about my random thoughts about WHATEVER, and somehow, someway, it's making a connection. I never could have DREAMED that for this blog, and yet, God knew it would happen, He orchestrated it perfectly so that my posts could connect with not one, but TWO different people. I can't begin to express how happy that makes me, and how much your prayers and continued readings of my randomness means to me. So, thank you all, so much. Here's to many, MANY more CrazyGirl♥ posts!
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl♥
I apologize for my silence. I had some, er, technical difficulties (AKA my computer didn't want to connect to the internet) which kept me from my blog. In case you didn't know, I MISSED YOU GUYS. I love this blog and all my wonderful followers. And, that's what brings me to the point of this post.
As I may have mentioned before, I can check my "stats" or see how many times what post has been viewed by people other than myself, or where my followers are reading from, etc. It's pretty nice just to know that since I've been silent, people have continued to read my blog. Whether they stumbled across it by random happenstance, or read it because they know me and wanted to be supportive, or just wanted to know if someone out there was as crazy as them, I don't know. But, my numbers have gone up. Now PLEASE do not mistake that for me being all about the numbers. I honestly would probably continue to write this blog even if no one was reading regularly.
Twice in the past week, I have been told by friends that they read my blog and it made a connection. I couldn't ask for anything more from my blog. It's not famous, it's not fancy, and I know not everyone agrees with me. But to make a connection with someone, for something I wrote to strike a note with someone else, well, it's humbling. Here I am, sitting at a laptop, typing away about my random thoughts about WHATEVER, and somehow, someway, it's making a connection. I never could have DREAMED that for this blog, and yet, God knew it would happen, He orchestrated it perfectly so that my posts could connect with not one, but TWO different people. I can't begin to express how happy that makes me, and how much your prayers and continued readings of my randomness means to me. So, thank you all, so much. Here's to many, MANY more CrazyGirl♥ posts!
Til Next Time,
Friday, June 13, 2014
CrazyGirl rants
Okay, so I know I've been on my blog a LOT lately (my mind has been hard at work apparently). But, there is something that has started bothering me more and more lately. And it's about our self-worth as women and men.
I have a Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I see these young ladies, beautiful young ladies I might add, who are basing so much of their self-worth off of stupid social media fads. It doesn't make THEM stupid, they just don't know any different. They've grown up in an era where social media dictates friendships and is a place to receive gratification from people that they might not even know. They think that having the most handsome "MCM" (that's Man Crush Monday for those of you wondering) or being a "WCW" (Woman Crush Wednesday) to the most guys is what validates their self worth. They have no sense of their worth as a person in the real world or at least a very VERY jaded view of what that means. They can't fathom their beauty in the eyes of Christ, because they haven't been anyone's "WCW." Most of what is posted on social media jades their perception of what is "normal" or "cool" or "worthwhile." Social media takes the popularity contest out of high schools and brings it home with these kids. Home isn't the safe haven that they come to knowing they can escape the insanity high school can be. The craziness is ALWAYS in the palm of their hand. And they KNOW that that other girl is getting MORE likes than them on Instagram.
It's also jaded the view these kids have of romance. I hate to break it to you, but a "Good Morning" text is not the most romantic gesture a man can think of. What about REAL romance? Like going out stargazing (withOUT the cellphones present) or being handpicked some wildflowers? What about singing songs or writing poems? Handwritten love letters? Better yet, what happened to the gentlemen introducing themselves to the girls' parents? Now it's okay for him to send a text "Hey. I'm out front" and honking the horn. Ladies, I don't mean to diss your man, but don't settle for that. You deserve respect. Men, be better than that. Hold the door for her. Meet her parents. And both of you, PUT THE PHONE DOWN. If you want to get to know someone, you have to spend quality time talking to them, finding out their mannerisms, their inflections, all the little details we don't seem to notice because we're all glued to little devices that run our lives and dictate the way we view ourselves and our self worth.
Besides the little rant I just gave, if you take anything out of this, let it be this: You are wonderfully and beautifully made. You are loved by the Creator of this Universe, which is worth more than being a "MCM" or "WCW." Remember your worth and beauty in the Savior, and you won't have to base your worth off of social media (which isn't worth it).
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl♥
I have a Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I see these young ladies, beautiful young ladies I might add, who are basing so much of their self-worth off of stupid social media fads. It doesn't make THEM stupid, they just don't know any different. They've grown up in an era where social media dictates friendships and is a place to receive gratification from people that they might not even know. They think that having the most handsome "MCM" (that's Man Crush Monday for those of you wondering) or being a "WCW" (Woman Crush Wednesday) to the most guys is what validates their self worth. They have no sense of their worth as a person in the real world or at least a very VERY jaded view of what that means. They can't fathom their beauty in the eyes of Christ, because they haven't been anyone's "WCW." Most of what is posted on social media jades their perception of what is "normal" or "cool" or "worthwhile." Social media takes the popularity contest out of high schools and brings it home with these kids. Home isn't the safe haven that they come to knowing they can escape the insanity high school can be. The craziness is ALWAYS in the palm of their hand. And they KNOW that that other girl is getting MORE likes than them on Instagram.
It's also jaded the view these kids have of romance. I hate to break it to you, but a "Good Morning" text is not the most romantic gesture a man can think of. What about REAL romance? Like going out stargazing (withOUT the cellphones present) or being handpicked some wildflowers? What about singing songs or writing poems? Handwritten love letters? Better yet, what happened to the gentlemen introducing themselves to the girls' parents? Now it's okay for him to send a text "Hey. I'm out front" and honking the horn. Ladies, I don't mean to diss your man, but don't settle for that. You deserve respect. Men, be better than that. Hold the door for her. Meet her parents. And both of you, PUT THE PHONE DOWN. If you want to get to know someone, you have to spend quality time talking to them, finding out their mannerisms, their inflections, all the little details we don't seem to notice because we're all glued to little devices that run our lives and dictate the way we view ourselves and our self worth.
Besides the little rant I just gave, if you take anything out of this, let it be this: You are wonderfully and beautifully made. You are loved by the Creator of this Universe, which is worth more than being a "MCM" or "WCW." Remember your worth and beauty in the Savior, and you won't have to base your worth off of social media (which isn't worth it).
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl♥ observes a Letter
Dear Future Husband,
I can't wait for the day that I meet you. Who knows? Perhaps we have met. (That would be pretty wild.)
Anyway, before that day that we become serious about one another, there is some stuff I think you should know.
First of all, so many girls say "I want a relationship like Chuck and Blair" or "I want a Lily and Marshall relationship" or "I want to have what Donna and Eric have." And while at one point I have been guilty of such a statement, I now realize how wrong I was. I don't want what Chuck and Blair, Lily and Marshall, or Donna and Eric have, because I want what God has planned for us. I don't want to settle for a romance any less than ours.
Secondly, I know that temptations lie all around you, easily within reach at all times. Just know that I'm praying for you to have the strength to say no to those temptations. But, should you give in to temptation, know that unless you hold onto that and let it affect the present, there is absolutely no reason for me to hold the past against you. I hope you can do the same for me, because I'm not going to pretend to be perfect. I'm only human.
That brings me to my third point. You see, I spent years unsure of myself, my weight, my looks, my personality, everything about myself really. But, as I grow up and mature, I'm learning that before I can truly love someone else and accept their love for me, I have to love myself. I'm not always going to have good days. You can rest assured of that. I cry; sometimes for no reason whatsoever. And when I cry, my mascara runs in a very obvious manner. Sometimes I get angry about stupid stuff. I'm not exactly a ray of sunshine when I first wake up. I occasionally talk in my sleep. And twitch. I try to pick up on others' emotions, but I'm not always good at it, so you might have to tell me what's on your mind, and I will try to do the same. I'm sure that there will be stressful times in our life together. Maybe our money situation will get bad at times, or there will be family stress. We will have to deal with up-all-night screaming baby sessions, the terrible twos, adolescence, our teenage daughter's first broken heart. But, rest assured, despite my haggard looks, and half asleep conversations with you, there is no one else I would rather face every obstacle in my life with (that's why I chose to marry you, silly. I could have said no if I wanted to).
My final point is this: I chose you. As I write this letter, I am a VERY single twenty year old, holding out for the right man. Believe me when I say that I'm not willing to settle for the first man to flatter me a little bit. So, if we're married, it means that I prayed about it and God and I came to the conclusion that YOU are the man for ME. I know you aren't perfect, you're only human, same as me. You will probably push my buttons. I'm sure we'll fight. Maybe you have a past. I understand that you have quirks and emotions and that you think WAY differently than me. But, despite any quirks you might have, I absolutely love you. With every fiber of my being. And I'm so glad we chose to spend the rest of our lives together.
Your Crazy Girl,
Katie♥
I can't wait for the day that I meet you. Who knows? Perhaps we have met. (That would be pretty wild.)
Anyway, before that day that we become serious about one another, there is some stuff I think you should know.
First of all, so many girls say "I want a relationship like Chuck and Blair" or "I want a Lily and Marshall relationship" or "I want to have what Donna and Eric have." And while at one point I have been guilty of such a statement, I now realize how wrong I was. I don't want what Chuck and Blair, Lily and Marshall, or Donna and Eric have, because I want what God has planned for us. I don't want to settle for a romance any less than ours.
Secondly, I know that temptations lie all around you, easily within reach at all times. Just know that I'm praying for you to have the strength to say no to those temptations. But, should you give in to temptation, know that unless you hold onto that and let it affect the present, there is absolutely no reason for me to hold the past against you. I hope you can do the same for me, because I'm not going to pretend to be perfect. I'm only human.
That brings me to my third point. You see, I spent years unsure of myself, my weight, my looks, my personality, everything about myself really. But, as I grow up and mature, I'm learning that before I can truly love someone else and accept their love for me, I have to love myself. I'm not always going to have good days. You can rest assured of that. I cry; sometimes for no reason whatsoever. And when I cry, my mascara runs in a very obvious manner. Sometimes I get angry about stupid stuff. I'm not exactly a ray of sunshine when I first wake up. I occasionally talk in my sleep. And twitch. I try to pick up on others' emotions, but I'm not always good at it, so you might have to tell me what's on your mind, and I will try to do the same. I'm sure that there will be stressful times in our life together. Maybe our money situation will get bad at times, or there will be family stress. We will have to deal with up-all-night screaming baby sessions, the terrible twos, adolescence, our teenage daughter's first broken heart. But, rest assured, despite my haggard looks, and half asleep conversations with you, there is no one else I would rather face every obstacle in my life with (that's why I chose to marry you, silly. I could have said no if I wanted to).
My final point is this: I chose you. As I write this letter, I am a VERY single twenty year old, holding out for the right man. Believe me when I say that I'm not willing to settle for the first man to flatter me a little bit. So, if we're married, it means that I prayed about it and God and I came to the conclusion that YOU are the man for ME. I know you aren't perfect, you're only human, same as me. You will probably push my buttons. I'm sure we'll fight. Maybe you have a past. I understand that you have quirks and emotions and that you think WAY differently than me. But, despite any quirks you might have, I absolutely love you. With every fiber of my being. And I'm so glad we chose to spend the rest of our lives together.
Your Crazy Girl,
Katie♥
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
CrazyGirl observes Her Thoughts on Dating
If you haven't noticed this about me yet, relationships (or the lack thereof) play a large part in my life. I don't try to make them, I don't wake up each morning and think "Yes, let's obsess over relationships today." But it seems that everywhere I turn, another relationship is there, or someone is talking about relationships, or somehow there is a reminder that relationships exist. At school, at work, at church, when I'm with my friends. Relationships and the pressure to date have become such necessities in our society. Now, I'm not one to say we shouldn't have relationships in our lives, or even to say we shouldn't have romantic relationships in our lives, but people seem to think that at 20 years old, since I haven't held hands with anyone, or ever been kissed, or had a real boyfriend (sorry junior high "special friends" I don't think that really counts. . .), or even really been on a real date (I've been on ONE blind date at an event for my college, it was fun, and he was great, but it wasn't romantic in any way), that means that you've pretty much destined yourself for a life as an old maid or a crazy cat lady (sorry to disappoint, but that won't ever happen, I'm more of a dog person myself). WHY IS THAT? I'm still young, I'm still trying to finish school. Yes, my dream career is to be a stay-at-home mom to my children, but maybe that's not God's plan. I would really like to hope it is, but I have to learn to trust that God knows what He's doing. Because He does and I don't. If I controlled every aspect of my life, and got everything I wanted, I'd be married to my kindergarten crush. . .since kindergarten. I don't think that would be such a great life (I mean, he's nice and all. . .but I don't see us working together today. Haha.)
I had a well meaning friend of mine tell me that maybe it's time to try online dating. I have nothing against it, and I know plenty of couples who have worked out very well by connecting through online dating. There's no Biblical evidence to suggest that it's wrong in any way, BUT I don't feel like it's the thing for me. I'm too much of an old-fashioned romantic. I'd love to bump into a handsome stranger, fall madly in love, get married, and start a family (okay, so I'm missing a few steps, but there's the shortened version). Or maybe meet a guy in class. Or SOMETHING. I'm a hopeless romantic, always have been, always will be. God created me that way for a reason.
Now, in today's world, we're taught very VERY conflicting things. As women, we're taught that men should not view us as an object, that we shouldn't allow men to view us in a sexual manner (unless we're trying to get sex). BUT, we're also taught that we should dress alluringly to "snag" a man. We're supposed to wear low cut tops, tops that show our belly, shorts with a waistline below our hips, shorts so short they should be called denim underwear, we should wear dresses that show every curve, and if God gave us cleavage, why shouldn't we show it off? (Men really shouldn't view women as objects, and if you walk around flaunting your goods all the time a-your husband will already know what you look like on your wedding night, and that's supposed to be a beautiful gift from a woman to her husband, and b-most guys will be mentally undressing you at every given opportunity, instead of seeing you for the wonderful woman you are) This is confusing for the men too, because we are giving them conflicting signals. We're dressing in a manner that suggests we want them to buy us a drink before they bed us for a one night stand, then we're getting angry with them for viewing us as sexual objects. (Sorry, but if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck. . .it's probably a duck.)
As a young woman, I understand the difficulty in dressing modestly. The shorts, skirts, and dresses are getting shorter, the tops are being cropped more and more, and the neck line is getting lower and lower. Shirts and dresses are no longer made to be loose fitting, but instead cling to every inch of skin and leave very very VERY little to the imagination. But, rest assured, there ARE options. I've always been an advocate of dressing modestly (despite the difficulty in finding modest clothing), and today, after reading a blog post about women and men and mating and dating http://truelovedates.com/to-all-the-single-ladies-the-mating-game/ that was only intensified. In case you don't feel like reading the blog post, she basically states that she was watching a television show about some tropical birds, and while the narrator talked about their mating ritual, he mentioned the modesty of the female and the pickiness of the female in choosing her mate. Ladies, we don't have to settle. No, the perfect man does not exist, but there is a man out there that is perfect for you. Also, we don't need to flaunt ourselves in front of men, just be yourself, the beautiful wonderful you that God created in His image, and the right guy will find himself falling for you, and you for him.
So please, don't settle for less that what God has for you. Wait for the right man. Believe me, I know that waiting can be hard (I've been waiting a LONG time), but I'm trusting that God will provide a man who is ready and willing to commit to me and my mood swings, and ugly morning hair, and the fact that I talk to dogs, and bake when I'm stressed or angry, and all of my weird quirks and unique features. And I will be ready and willing to commit to him and all of his quirks. That will be a very happy day.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl♥
I had a well meaning friend of mine tell me that maybe it's time to try online dating. I have nothing against it, and I know plenty of couples who have worked out very well by connecting through online dating. There's no Biblical evidence to suggest that it's wrong in any way, BUT I don't feel like it's the thing for me. I'm too much of an old-fashioned romantic. I'd love to bump into a handsome stranger, fall madly in love, get married, and start a family (okay, so I'm missing a few steps, but there's the shortened version). Or maybe meet a guy in class. Or SOMETHING. I'm a hopeless romantic, always have been, always will be. God created me that way for a reason.
Now, in today's world, we're taught very VERY conflicting things. As women, we're taught that men should not view us as an object, that we shouldn't allow men to view us in a sexual manner (unless we're trying to get sex). BUT, we're also taught that we should dress alluringly to "snag" a man. We're supposed to wear low cut tops, tops that show our belly, shorts with a waistline below our hips, shorts so short they should be called denim underwear, we should wear dresses that show every curve, and if God gave us cleavage, why shouldn't we show it off? (Men really shouldn't view women as objects, and if you walk around flaunting your goods all the time a-your husband will already know what you look like on your wedding night, and that's supposed to be a beautiful gift from a woman to her husband, and b-most guys will be mentally undressing you at every given opportunity, instead of seeing you for the wonderful woman you are) This is confusing for the men too, because we are giving them conflicting signals. We're dressing in a manner that suggests we want them to buy us a drink before they bed us for a one night stand, then we're getting angry with them for viewing us as sexual objects. (Sorry, but if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck. . .it's probably a duck.)
As a young woman, I understand the difficulty in dressing modestly. The shorts, skirts, and dresses are getting shorter, the tops are being cropped more and more, and the neck line is getting lower and lower. Shirts and dresses are no longer made to be loose fitting, but instead cling to every inch of skin and leave very very VERY little to the imagination. But, rest assured, there ARE options. I've always been an advocate of dressing modestly (despite the difficulty in finding modest clothing), and today, after reading a blog post about women and men and mating and dating http://truelovedates.com/to-all-the-single-ladies-the-mating-game/ that was only intensified. In case you don't feel like reading the blog post, she basically states that she was watching a television show about some tropical birds, and while the narrator talked about their mating ritual, he mentioned the modesty of the female and the pickiness of the female in choosing her mate. Ladies, we don't have to settle. No, the perfect man does not exist, but there is a man out there that is perfect for you. Also, we don't need to flaunt ourselves in front of men, just be yourself, the beautiful wonderful you that God created in His image, and the right guy will find himself falling for you, and you for him.
So please, don't settle for less that what God has for you. Wait for the right man. Believe me, I know that waiting can be hard (I've been waiting a LONG time), but I'm trusting that God will provide a man who is ready and willing to commit to me and my mood swings, and ugly morning hair, and the fact that I talk to dogs, and bake when I'm stressed or angry, and all of my weird quirks and unique features. And I will be ready and willing to commit to him and all of his quirks. That will be a very happy day.
Til Next Time,
Sunday, June 8, 2014
CrazyGirl♥ observes Opportunity
It's summer. If that doesn't excite you, I don't know what will. I may be a lover of the rain, but summer brings rest, relaxation, and tan lines. Okay. . . so maybe summer isn't as ideal as we pictured it as kids, but it's nice to not have homework to worry about for a couple months. Summer is an opportunity; we have some free time on our hands (or at least I do) considering that once we're clocked off at work, we're finished for the day, it's not like the classroom where we finish class and BOOM we're free! NOT. We finish class and we have piles of homework to do, not to mention that test we have to study for, and oh no! you almost forgot that it's your friend's twentieth I mean. . . twenty-first birthday and you promised them you'd go to dinner and that means you have to get all dressed up and that actually takes effort. So, without all of that, summer is an opportunity.
For me, it's an opportunity to save up some money and maybe do a little travelling. For others, like my wonderful older sister, it's an opportunity to start the rest of your life as a full-blown adult, college graduate, and proud renter of her very first apartment. Yet, for others, it's the opportunity to pursue something they never thought they'd do. Maybe some of you lucky ones are getting the opportunity for a summer romance, I know Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are all blowing up with news of recent engagements and marriages, and new couples seem to be cropping up all over the place. Perhaps you're getting the opportunity to learn a new skill (*cough cough* I still need to learn the drums *cough cough*). Maybe you're spending time with old friends, just catching up and hearing all about their adventures. Whatever it is you're doing this summer, look for the opportunity.
Sometimes, it's easy to overlook opportunity, to excuse it. "Oh I don't need to do that. I need my beauty sleep." But, while you have the opportunity seriously think and pray about taking that opportunity. This may be your only chance. Sometimes that opportunity may require a leap of faith and some heavy trust in Christ, but believe me, anything chance worth taking should scare you just a little. The leap of faith is just part of the journey. Not to seem tacky or cliche, but it's like the song by Lee Ann Womack says, "When you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance." And, that's what I'm hoping for you this summer, when you get that opportunity to do something new, something a little scary; TAKE IT.
Til Next Time,
For me, it's an opportunity to save up some money and maybe do a little travelling. For others, like my wonderful older sister, it's an opportunity to start the rest of your life as a full-blown adult, college graduate, and proud renter of her very first apartment. Yet, for others, it's the opportunity to pursue something they never thought they'd do. Maybe some of you lucky ones are getting the opportunity for a summer romance, I know Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are all blowing up with news of recent engagements and marriages, and new couples seem to be cropping up all over the place. Perhaps you're getting the opportunity to learn a new skill (*cough cough* I still need to learn the drums *cough cough*). Maybe you're spending time with old friends, just catching up and hearing all about their adventures. Whatever it is you're doing this summer, look for the opportunity.
Sometimes, it's easy to overlook opportunity, to excuse it. "Oh I don't need to do that. I need my beauty sleep." But, while you have the opportunity seriously think and pray about taking that opportunity. This may be your only chance. Sometimes that opportunity may require a leap of faith and some heavy trust in Christ, but believe me, anything chance worth taking should scare you just a little. The leap of faith is just part of the journey. Not to seem tacky or cliche, but it's like the song by Lee Ann Womack says, "When you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance." And, that's what I'm hoping for you this summer, when you get that opportunity to do something new, something a little scary; TAKE IT.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl♥
Thursday, March 20, 2014
CrazyGirl♥ observes Fiction
So, tonight, I got into the writing mood. Innocently thinking I might strike up some creative streak, I posted on Facebook. Silly me, thinking that would help. Instead, I ended up getting the most ridiculous request for a story starring two of my wonderful friends; Taryn and Kelsey. As if writing a fictional story wasn't enough, they asked me for a story which starred the two of them, where they go on an adventure . . . to the moon . . . with a unicorn. Of course, that's a ridiculous thing to write a blog post about. But, then again, I was given a due date of 7 o'clock tomorrow. And I am CrazyGirl♥. So, here goes nothing.
It was a typical boring night, with nothing to do in the small town of Katieville (okay. . . if I'm writing a story about two of my wonderful friends, I'm going to have to stick myself in there). Kelsey was working on yet another homework assignment. She looked at the paper, and sighed, then wrote a few more words. Drumming her fingers on the table she thought about what else she could write, then finally set down her pencil and grabbed her coat. "Brit. I'm going for a walk. I'll be back soon." She called down the hallway to her younger sister. "Mmf" came the muffled reply from her sister. Sliding on her coat, she walked out the front door, into the breezy evening air. (I'm telling you . . . this fiction stuff is NOT my forte.)
At the same time, Taryn's cat buddy, Mort, had finally grown bored of playing with his toy, and was snoozing on the couch, while Mae Mobely (another cat friend of Taryn's) was hiding somewhere, probably napping. Using Mort's current actions as her excuse, she grabbed a sweatshirt and headed out for a walk of her own. Strolling down the street, she spotted Kelsey, called out "Hey!" and waved. Jogging briskly, she caught up to Kelsey and the two strolled in silence for a bit. Then, Taryn pushed her long, brown hair behind her ear and shrugged "Were you bored too?" Kelsey chuckled "Yeah. It's Katieville. Who isn't bored here?" (I just realized that I named the town in my story after myself, and made it a boring town. I'm so skilled.)
After walking some ways, the girls came to a field on the edge of town. "Should we turn back?" Kelsey asked, her blonde hair being blown in her face by the breeze. Taryn shrugged. "Why not just walk through it? Something new and exciting." The sarcasm was thick in her voice. Both girls took a step into the field, and suddenly a huge gust of wind picked up. "Did you feel that?" Kelsey said. Taryn giggled "You're too paranoid. It's been windy all night."
"Alright. Alright. I'm just nervous. This field creeps me out a little bit."
"Why does it creep you out?" Taryn giggled.
"Because," Kelsey sighed. "I don't know. It just does."
The girls came to the edge of the field where they discovered a fence that blocked off an enchanting grove of trees, and a little pond. "Whoa," Kelsey whispered in awe. "I never knew that was there." Suddenly, Taryn glanced at Kelsey with a scheming gleam in her eye. "You know we're going in there, right?" Kelsey looked slightly startled and then nodded her consent. They pushed apart two of the fence slats that were hanging loosely by only the top nail and climbed through one at a time. Walking towards the pond, the two girls looked in awe at what surrounded them. The grass around them was a crisp emerald green, and speckled with tiny wildflowers. The trees swayed lightly in the breeze, and the setting sun created a backdrop of gorgeous pinks and oranges. Suddenly, an excited squeal escaped Kelsey "Look! A swing!" She ran over and hopped on the little board swing, hanging from the tree. "This is magical!" Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and the trees began to rustle. Both girls froze, and suddenly, a unicorn appeared from behind the trees. "You're the first one to realize that for years now." He said. "I've been waiting for someone to see the magic, which allows me to come and visit." Taryn giggled nervously, "You're . . . a . . . unicorn." she said.
"You got a problem with that?" he snorted.
Kelsey just stared wide-eyed, taking in what was happening.
Taryn stammered again, "You're . . . you're . . . a . . . a . . . UNICORN."
The unicorn rolled his eyes, "Yeah. So, we've established."
Finally Kelsey asked him "So, why are you here?"
The unicorn turned to face her in all his majestic glory, "To do whatever the heck you want."
"What if I want to go to the moon?" Kelsey asked.
"Whatever you say." replied the unicorn.
"Hey. Wait a second," Taryn stated. "We don't know your name."
"Oh, yeah, I'm bad with introductions. When you don't have any interaction in several hundred years, it's hard to remember your manners sometimes. I'm Fred."
"Fred, the unicorn?" Kelsey asked, slightly shocked.
"Yeah. You got a problem with that?"
"No. No problem at all." Kelsey replied.
"Good. Now close your eye, Toots." Fred said.
Both girls closed their eyes.
"Now open them!"
Opening their eyes, both girls looked around them. They were on the moon. (Yeah. Don't mind my really lame attempt at fiction. I'm also half asleep right now.) Both of them began bouncing around, testing the lowered gravity of the moon. Giggling, they began twirling and jumping, enjoying the feel of being seemingly weightless. "Fred, come join us." Taryn shouted breathlessly.
"Me? You want me to join?" Fred asked.
"Of course," Kelsey said. "If it weren't for you, we never could have taken this adventure."
"What if I told you that there was some really cool stuff here?" Fred asked excitedly.
"Then I'd tell you to show us." Taryn replied.
"Well," Fred stated. "Then follow me."
First, Fred showed them the northern lights from space.
Then, he showed them a solar flare, and how it looks from the sun.
After that, he showed them Pluto, and explained that Pluto should still be a planet, but there was some political differences between the other planets and Pluto, and they kicked it out of the planet council.
Then, he introduced them to the man on the moon. Who, it turns out, is actually a man, who also happened to paint his picture onto the side of the moon. They enjoyed a lovely tea with the man on the moon (his name is John, in case you were wondering.) who recommended a frozen yogurt shop called "Moon Me" to them. They visited Moon Me, which has the greatest frozen yogurt of all time, and talked and laughed with Fred. Suddenly, Fred glanced down at the Earth (which seemed pretty small from the moon) and sighed. "Girls, it's been great. But, unfortunately, I have to get you back to Earth."
With great sadness, both girls closed their eyes. "Okay. You can open them now." And they were back in the field, only this time it was brown and dry and kind of ugly. Fred was nowhere to be seen, and the breeze had died down. Rubbing their eyes, both girls looked at each other trying to make sure they both had been there for all the adventures of the day. Wide-eyed it dawned on them, that no one would ever believe their story. "Look!" Taryn squealed. "There's still moon dust on our shoes."
"But, Taryn, the swing, the beautiful trees, all of it is gone. Fred is gone."
"Goodbye, Fred." Taryn said sadly. "Hopefully someday we get to see you again."
And the two girls, walked slowly back to their own houses, remembering the events of the night.
It's said that to this day, when the breeze is blowing just right in Katieville, Taryn and Kelsey can find the enchanted field, and that when they do, you can see the man on the moon smile just a little bit, because Kelsey, Taryn and Fred are there for tea again.
There you have it. My miserable attempt at a fictional story.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl♥
It was a typical boring night, with nothing to do in the small town of Katieville (okay. . . if I'm writing a story about two of my wonderful friends, I'm going to have to stick myself in there). Kelsey was working on yet another homework assignment. She looked at the paper, and sighed, then wrote a few more words. Drumming her fingers on the table she thought about what else she could write, then finally set down her pencil and grabbed her coat. "Brit. I'm going for a walk. I'll be back soon." She called down the hallway to her younger sister. "Mmf" came the muffled reply from her sister. Sliding on her coat, she walked out the front door, into the breezy evening air. (I'm telling you . . . this fiction stuff is NOT my forte.)
At the same time, Taryn's cat buddy, Mort, had finally grown bored of playing with his toy, and was snoozing on the couch, while Mae Mobely (another cat friend of Taryn's) was hiding somewhere, probably napping. Using Mort's current actions as her excuse, she grabbed a sweatshirt and headed out for a walk of her own. Strolling down the street, she spotted Kelsey, called out "Hey!" and waved. Jogging briskly, she caught up to Kelsey and the two strolled in silence for a bit. Then, Taryn pushed her long, brown hair behind her ear and shrugged "Were you bored too?" Kelsey chuckled "Yeah. It's Katieville. Who isn't bored here?" (I just realized that I named the town in my story after myself, and made it a boring town. I'm so skilled.)
After walking some ways, the girls came to a field on the edge of town. "Should we turn back?" Kelsey asked, her blonde hair being blown in her face by the breeze. Taryn shrugged. "Why not just walk through it? Something new and exciting." The sarcasm was thick in her voice. Both girls took a step into the field, and suddenly a huge gust of wind picked up. "Did you feel that?" Kelsey said. Taryn giggled "You're too paranoid. It's been windy all night."
"Alright. Alright. I'm just nervous. This field creeps me out a little bit."
"Why does it creep you out?" Taryn giggled.
"Because," Kelsey sighed. "I don't know. It just does."
The girls came to the edge of the field where they discovered a fence that blocked off an enchanting grove of trees, and a little pond. "Whoa," Kelsey whispered in awe. "I never knew that was there." Suddenly, Taryn glanced at Kelsey with a scheming gleam in her eye. "You know we're going in there, right?" Kelsey looked slightly startled and then nodded her consent. They pushed apart two of the fence slats that were hanging loosely by only the top nail and climbed through one at a time. Walking towards the pond, the two girls looked in awe at what surrounded them. The grass around them was a crisp emerald green, and speckled with tiny wildflowers. The trees swayed lightly in the breeze, and the setting sun created a backdrop of gorgeous pinks and oranges. Suddenly, an excited squeal escaped Kelsey "Look! A swing!" She ran over and hopped on the little board swing, hanging from the tree. "This is magical!" Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and the trees began to rustle. Both girls froze, and suddenly, a unicorn appeared from behind the trees. "You're the first one to realize that for years now." He said. "I've been waiting for someone to see the magic, which allows me to come and visit." Taryn giggled nervously, "You're . . . a . . . unicorn." she said.
"You got a problem with that?" he snorted.
Kelsey just stared wide-eyed, taking in what was happening.
Taryn stammered again, "You're . . . you're . . . a . . . a . . . UNICORN."
The unicorn rolled his eyes, "Yeah. So, we've established."
Finally Kelsey asked him "So, why are you here?"
The unicorn turned to face her in all his majestic glory, "To do whatever the heck you want."
"What if I want to go to the moon?" Kelsey asked.
"Whatever you say." replied the unicorn.
"Hey. Wait a second," Taryn stated. "We don't know your name."
"Oh, yeah, I'm bad with introductions. When you don't have any interaction in several hundred years, it's hard to remember your manners sometimes. I'm Fred."
"Fred, the unicorn?" Kelsey asked, slightly shocked.
"Yeah. You got a problem with that?"
"No. No problem at all." Kelsey replied.
"Good. Now close your eye, Toots." Fred said.
Both girls closed their eyes.
"Now open them!"
Opening their eyes, both girls looked around them. They were on the moon. (Yeah. Don't mind my really lame attempt at fiction. I'm also half asleep right now.) Both of them began bouncing around, testing the lowered gravity of the moon. Giggling, they began twirling and jumping, enjoying the feel of being seemingly weightless. "Fred, come join us." Taryn shouted breathlessly.
"Me? You want me to join?" Fred asked.
"Of course," Kelsey said. "If it weren't for you, we never could have taken this adventure."
"What if I told you that there was some really cool stuff here?" Fred asked excitedly.
"Then I'd tell you to show us." Taryn replied.
"Well," Fred stated. "Then follow me."
First, Fred showed them the northern lights from space.
Then, he showed them a solar flare, and how it looks from the sun.
After that, he showed them Pluto, and explained that Pluto should still be a planet, but there was some political differences between the other planets and Pluto, and they kicked it out of the planet council.
Then, he introduced them to the man on the moon. Who, it turns out, is actually a man, who also happened to paint his picture onto the side of the moon. They enjoyed a lovely tea with the man on the moon (his name is John, in case you were wondering.) who recommended a frozen yogurt shop called "Moon Me" to them. They visited Moon Me, which has the greatest frozen yogurt of all time, and talked and laughed with Fred. Suddenly, Fred glanced down at the Earth (which seemed pretty small from the moon) and sighed. "Girls, it's been great. But, unfortunately, I have to get you back to Earth."
With great sadness, both girls closed their eyes. "Okay. You can open them now." And they were back in the field, only this time it was brown and dry and kind of ugly. Fred was nowhere to be seen, and the breeze had died down. Rubbing their eyes, both girls looked at each other trying to make sure they both had been there for all the adventures of the day. Wide-eyed it dawned on them, that no one would ever believe their story. "Look!" Taryn squealed. "There's still moon dust on our shoes."
"But, Taryn, the swing, the beautiful trees, all of it is gone. Fred is gone."
"Goodbye, Fred." Taryn said sadly. "Hopefully someday we get to see you again."
And the two girls, walked slowly back to their own houses, remembering the events of the night.
It's said that to this day, when the breeze is blowing just right in Katieville, Taryn and Kelsey can find the enchanted field, and that when they do, you can see the man on the moon smile just a little bit, because Kelsey, Taryn and Fred are there for tea again.
There you have it. My miserable attempt at a fictional story.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl♥
Monday, March 17, 2014
CrazyGirl Observes Callings
So, I've been doing some deep life evaluation lately. I've been looking hard at what drives me, and what my priorities are. And, I realized that I'm doing it all wrong.
Last Sunday, while I was at church, the pastor said that God wants our all, but God also wants our "it" or that thing that we go "Okay God, you can have everything, but . . . you know what? I think I'll hold onto this one little thing." God desires our "it." No matter what it may be. Immediately, I realized that my "it" is my desire for a relationship. I consistently go "Okay God, you can have everything, every aspect of my life . . . but, I think I'll keep this one. You don't want to be bothered with it anyway."
Now, giving God your "it" is NOT an easy task. It's not a one time task. In fact, for me it's daily. Every morning before I even throw off the covers I pray that God would take my desire for a relationship and do with it what he chooses. I find myself uttering this prayer multiple times on any given day. It seems strange, I know. But, I have now gotten to the point where I can honestly say that I don't need a guy, and I can MEAN it. This is a first for me. I've said that before, knowing that it was what people wanted to hear, but I never really lived that. Now, for the first time in my life, I can say that I don't need a relationship, and I'm not looking for one. That feels great.
And, it led me to realize just how much time I was investing in my search for "happiness" even though I would have told you I didn't spend any extra time on that if you'd asked me, even just a week ago. Now, I'm looking at all the possibilities that lay ahead of me. I am currently working on getting a degree and my teaching credential so that I can go on to teach kindergarten. I am surrounded by friends that I adore and can invest my time and energy into. I come from an amazing family; a dad who is stronger than anyone I know (especially me), whom I love and admire, a mom who is so loving, and who I aspire to be like, an older sister who sets an example for me and is beautiful both inside and out, a younger brother who makes me laugh and has a contagious smile, and a younger sister who is so full of spunk and doesn't take crap from anyone. I am attending my dream university.
As if that's not enough of a blessing, I just found out that I get to start helping in a Sunday School class for one of the churches near my school, which is amazingly exciting for me. I have a heart for children, and having the opportunity to dedicate my Sunday mornings to being with them makes me so happy. I have no doubt that God has called me into children's ministry. Whether that means helping in Sunday School classrooms, or putting my energy into working with AWANA clubs again, or setting an example of Christ's love for the children in my classroom someday, or maybe even someday being involved in the lives of my children and pouring my time and energy into raising children who show God's love to others; no matter the path, I know I'm supposed to be working with children. It's where God has called me, where he's given me a passion. And I cannot wait for the opportunity to follow that passion. Children's ministry, here I come!
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl♥
Last Sunday, while I was at church, the pastor said that God wants our all, but God also wants our "it" or that thing that we go "Okay God, you can have everything, but . . . you know what? I think I'll hold onto this one little thing." God desires our "it." No matter what it may be. Immediately, I realized that my "it" is my desire for a relationship. I consistently go "Okay God, you can have everything, every aspect of my life . . . but, I think I'll keep this one. You don't want to be bothered with it anyway."
Now, giving God your "it" is NOT an easy task. It's not a one time task. In fact, for me it's daily. Every morning before I even throw off the covers I pray that God would take my desire for a relationship and do with it what he chooses. I find myself uttering this prayer multiple times on any given day. It seems strange, I know. But, I have now gotten to the point where I can honestly say that I don't need a guy, and I can MEAN it. This is a first for me. I've said that before, knowing that it was what people wanted to hear, but I never really lived that. Now, for the first time in my life, I can say that I don't need a relationship, and I'm not looking for one. That feels great.
And, it led me to realize just how much time I was investing in my search for "happiness" even though I would have told you I didn't spend any extra time on that if you'd asked me, even just a week ago. Now, I'm looking at all the possibilities that lay ahead of me. I am currently working on getting a degree and my teaching credential so that I can go on to teach kindergarten. I am surrounded by friends that I adore and can invest my time and energy into. I come from an amazing family; a dad who is stronger than anyone I know (especially me), whom I love and admire, a mom who is so loving, and who I aspire to be like, an older sister who sets an example for me and is beautiful both inside and out, a younger brother who makes me laugh and has a contagious smile, and a younger sister who is so full of spunk and doesn't take crap from anyone. I am attending my dream university.
As if that's not enough of a blessing, I just found out that I get to start helping in a Sunday School class for one of the churches near my school, which is amazingly exciting for me. I have a heart for children, and having the opportunity to dedicate my Sunday mornings to being with them makes me so happy. I have no doubt that God has called me into children's ministry. Whether that means helping in Sunday School classrooms, or putting my energy into working with AWANA clubs again, or setting an example of Christ's love for the children in my classroom someday, or maybe even someday being involved in the lives of my children and pouring my time and energy into raising children who show God's love to others; no matter the path, I know I'm supposed to be working with children. It's where God has called me, where he's given me a passion. And I cannot wait for the opportunity to follow that passion. Children's ministry, here I come!
Til Next Time,
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
CrazyGirl observes What The World Offers
Tonight, I stumbled upon a gem of a Bible verse. One of those verses that makes you go "Awww. I feel warm and fuzzy." And, like anyone, I soaked up the warm fuzzy feeling. What I didn't realize what how that verse would come back to smack some sense into me and then give me a peace that far surpassed the initial warm fuzzy feeling.
You see, my life is FAR from perfect right now. I mean, it's never perfect, but right now it's farther from that than normal. So, when I stumbled across John 14:27 "Peace I leave you with; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." I literally thought to myself "Hey . . . now there's a verse to put on my whiteboard. It will be a GREAT reminder" scribbled the address on my hand and continued on with my night.
When I returned to my dorm room, I sat down with my computer and opened Facebook (what else did you expect a college student to do on the computer?) as I scrolled, I came across several new relationships, a couple engagements, and some pregnancy posts. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE hearing about other people's happy news, but sometimes the reminder of how single I am gets to be too much. As I was scrolling, I glanced over at the sidebar (you know the one, the right-hand side of the screen, covered in random ads) and literally EVERY SINGLE AD was for a dating website. Not just one, tucked in there, no. The ENTIRE sidebar. Zoosk. Christian Mingle. Farmers Only. And, my personal favorite, Rich Daddy Needs a Princess. All of them boasting of how they had the perfect guy for me. And plenty of singles my age to flirt with, chat with, fall in love with, etc. And I thought "That's what the world has to offer?" And suddenly, that verse was back in my head. "I do not give to you as the world gives to you."
As a speaker at our school said last week, the church is doing a wonderful job of making singleness feel like something that makes us feel like second-class citizens. And it's not just the church. Society is aiding that feeling at every corner. Pushing this idea that we can't be complete without a significant other. Which is pure crap. The God of the Universe created us JUST as we are, and thinks of us as beautiful. Reread that last statement. Okay? Now where in that did I say that he thinks we are beautiful once we find love and romance? Did you see the part where he made us incomplete until Prince Charming sweeps us off our feet? Yeah . . . neither did I. Because he didn't. He made us in his image. To be his precious children. Yes, He rejoices when we do find love and romance and someone who makes us happy in a healthy loving relationship. But, he doesn't say we are second class until that day comes.
So, if God leaves us with his peace, he GIVES it to us, why do we deny it? He explicitly states that he doesn't give to us the same way the world gives to us, and can we just take a minute to THANK HEAVEN that he doesn't? Because, the world gives us this image of what is supposed to make us happy; love and romance. But, we are all so busy pursuing love and romance that by the time we find true love that's paired with real romance, all we have left to offer our significant other is a shattered, broken heart, that multiple people have taken chunks out of. And that's what society is selling us. But, God, he's giving us his peace. He's not selling it to us, he's not hyping it up, he's simply putting out there and saying "Here. It's yours." With his peace, our hearts don't need to be troubled. We don't need to be afraid. I'm not going to lie, lately my heart has been very troubled. I have been afraid; afraid that something is wrong with me, afraid that I'll never find a guy who would want to put up with this mess I call me, afraid that someday I will end up alone (collecting dogs), and afraid that my dreams for my future would just cease to have any validity. But, God is waiting, he's offering me his peace. It's an overwhelming peace, that calms the troubled heart and relieves the fears.
But, I also want none of what the world is trying to give to me. I don't want the bi-weekly reminder that I will probably never be someone's "Woman Crush Wednesday" or get to post a "Man Crush Monday" (that's not a Disney Prince). I don't want to see the ads mocking my relationship status. It doesn't define me. And why should it? I don't want to see Tweets about "Forever Alone" or have Twitter constantly recommend that I follow "Why I'm Single" and "Single Girl Problems." I don't want what the world is offering me. It's bogus. And I deserve better than that.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl♥
You see, my life is FAR from perfect right now. I mean, it's never perfect, but right now it's farther from that than normal. So, when I stumbled across John 14:27 "Peace I leave you with; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." I literally thought to myself "Hey . . . now there's a verse to put on my whiteboard. It will be a GREAT reminder" scribbled the address on my hand and continued on with my night.
When I returned to my dorm room, I sat down with my computer and opened Facebook (what else did you expect a college student to do on the computer?) as I scrolled, I came across several new relationships, a couple engagements, and some pregnancy posts. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE hearing about other people's happy news, but sometimes the reminder of how single I am gets to be too much. As I was scrolling, I glanced over at the sidebar (you know the one, the right-hand side of the screen, covered in random ads) and literally EVERY SINGLE AD was for a dating website. Not just one, tucked in there, no. The ENTIRE sidebar. Zoosk. Christian Mingle. Farmers Only. And, my personal favorite, Rich Daddy Needs a Princess. All of them boasting of how they had the perfect guy for me. And plenty of singles my age to flirt with, chat with, fall in love with, etc. And I thought "That's what the world has to offer?" And suddenly, that verse was back in my head. "I do not give to you as the world gives to you."
As a speaker at our school said last week, the church is doing a wonderful job of making singleness feel like something that makes us feel like second-class citizens. And it's not just the church. Society is aiding that feeling at every corner. Pushing this idea that we can't be complete without a significant other. Which is pure crap. The God of the Universe created us JUST as we are, and thinks of us as beautiful. Reread that last statement. Okay? Now where in that did I say that he thinks we are beautiful once we find love and romance? Did you see the part where he made us incomplete until Prince Charming sweeps us off our feet? Yeah . . . neither did I. Because he didn't. He made us in his image. To be his precious children. Yes, He rejoices when we do find love and romance and someone who makes us happy in a healthy loving relationship. But, he doesn't say we are second class until that day comes.
So, if God leaves us with his peace, he GIVES it to us, why do we deny it? He explicitly states that he doesn't give to us the same way the world gives to us, and can we just take a minute to THANK HEAVEN that he doesn't? Because, the world gives us this image of what is supposed to make us happy; love and romance. But, we are all so busy pursuing love and romance that by the time we find true love that's paired with real romance, all we have left to offer our significant other is a shattered, broken heart, that multiple people have taken chunks out of. And that's what society is selling us. But, God, he's giving us his peace. He's not selling it to us, he's not hyping it up, he's simply putting out there and saying "Here. It's yours." With his peace, our hearts don't need to be troubled. We don't need to be afraid. I'm not going to lie, lately my heart has been very troubled. I have been afraid; afraid that something is wrong with me, afraid that I'll never find a guy who would want to put up with this mess I call me, afraid that someday I will end up alone (collecting dogs), and afraid that my dreams for my future would just cease to have any validity. But, God is waiting, he's offering me his peace. It's an overwhelming peace, that calms the troubled heart and relieves the fears.
But, I also want none of what the world is trying to give to me. I don't want the bi-weekly reminder that I will probably never be someone's "Woman Crush Wednesday" or get to post a "Man Crush Monday" (that's not a Disney Prince). I don't want to see the ads mocking my relationship status. It doesn't define me. And why should it? I don't want to see Tweets about "Forever Alone" or have Twitter constantly recommend that I follow "Why I'm Single" and "Single Girl Problems." I don't want what the world is offering me. It's bogus. And I deserve better than that.
Til Next Time,
Monday, January 27, 2014
CrazyGirl observes Kindness
Let's be real here. We all struggle. Every single one of us. There's no denying it. Every person on this planet struggles in their own way. Some people are better at hiding their struggles than others, and occasionally, I reach this point where I'm jealous of those people. They can just bottle up whatever is bothering them, and go about everyday life like nothing has changed. Then, I remember that God created me (beautiful in His image) and made me someone who has always just naturally worn their heart on their sleeve. So, why would I want to change that?
Then, I started thinking about everyone else and their struggles. Some people, you can visibly see the struggle written on their face, others you notice a slight change in their actions, and yet others, you don't notice a change, they virtually stay just the same. But, being someone that people can tell when I'm struggling, I've realized I know when to reach for support, I know how to ask for help. And I don't want to trade that for anything. Then, I realized that not everyone is that blessed. Some people don't know how to ask for help or support or anything like that.
As Christians, we are supposed to embody the love of Christ. But, really . . . how often do we do that? Do we ever extend love to those who aren't necessarily always nice to us? Do we ever offer a helping hand to that random kid that doesn't really talk to anyone? How often do we go out of our way to be kind to the girl we always see but never talk to? I feel like it's pretty rare. Yet, even in the story of the Samaritan woman Jesus extends kindness to someone outside of his circle. In the story of the Good Samaritan, the Samaritan man extends kindness to someone who would usually look down on him. The Bible is full of stories of kindness extended to someone who didn't necessarily "deserve" it. How much of a difference could we make if we just took a few minutes to extend this kindness to someone? Think about it. You could turn someone's day around. You might even save someone's life. Just a little kindness goes such a long way. Think about it. Try it. You won't regret it. And you might just form a new habit.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl♥
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