CrazyGirl observes Being Blessed

So, I've been up at Simpson for exactly a month today, and I absolutely love it! I have fantastic roommates and a great job! My classes are going great, and I'm adjusting to dorm life (AKA little to no sleep . . . EVER). But, this weekend, I had the opportunity to go home for the first time, and I took it.
Being someone who likes sleep, you know I was excited when I was willing to get up and be on the road by 8 a.m. on a Saturday morning. I had my stuff packed three days in advance, and I didn't shut up about going home the entire week leading up to it (and probably drove my roommates nuts). That morning, I was up bright and early, and actually smiling before 8 a.m. The drive home seemed to fly by, and when I passed the sign that said I was entering town I did a little happy dance (and to the guy driving next to me, don't judge. You have NO idea how happy I was to be home).
When I got home, Dad was the only one out in the living room, so I hugged him, then threw my bags on the floor and gave my puppies some love (and, yes, I used the puppy voice, thank you very much). Then, I got to see my mommy and get a good, old-fashioned Mommy-Hug (they work wonders, in case you didn't know). Then, I got to see almost the whole Wolf Pack, and I got to see Kelsey! It was amazing! Although, saying goodbye again kinda sorta really sucked. I mean, I know I'll be home again soon, but I still hate goodbyes.
Today, while a bit worn out, I have been in a FANTASTIC mood, and I honestly think it's because I got to spend some time at home with the people I love. There is something therapeutic in that. And, as hard as it is to say goodbye (I may or may not have cried for the first 15-20 minutes of the drive back to school), it is so worth it to see all the people you've been missing. I wouldn't trade it for anything. And, honestly, realizing how much I'd missed a town I never thought I'd miss was kind of astonishing. I can't wait to be back. ♥ I love the people who have made my life so blessed.
Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥

CrazyGirl observes the Odd Compliment

Today, as I was leaving class, one of the girls in my class commented on my outfit for the day (which, I might add, I was rather excited about wearing). She just happened to say in passing "Hey. I really like that skirt. You know, you always wear the cutest outfits."
Now, to most girls, that's a fairly common compliment, but that made me so excited. I have never really been one to dress up or even really make an effort for school. But, my goal for this school year was to move beyond my big tee-shirts and jeans stage and onto actually figuring out my own style. So, to have someone who had no idea that I was working on that, compliment my style was beyond amazing. She had absolutely no idea that she would make my entire day by saying that.
Which brings me to the real point. We say stuff all the time that we don't really think about. An odd compliment, or maybe even a snarky comment to a friend. But, what we don't realize, is those words have a certain amount of power in other people's lives. To the girl you just complimented, you could have just made her entire day. But, if that guy heard the sarcastic insult about him you muttered to your friend, you could ruin his day. Our words have power. (A lot of it.) And we take that for granted on a daily basis. But, maybe we should all think about using the power of our words, and the power of a smile every day, and we could make a pretty big difference. Think about that.
Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥

CrazyGirl Observes People

Today, a friend and I went to the local Starbucks for a study session, hoping to avoid the distractions of being on campus, we packed up our books and headed out. While we were sitting there, an older couple sat down next to us. Being the people watcher I am, I silently observed the couple. I noticed the worn, but beautiful rings that signified what I can only assume was years of marriage. I watched the familiar way they interacted, as if they had known each other forever. Intrigued by the love plainly written across their faces, I continued to observe this couple. I watched the way he looked at her, almost like he was falling in love all over again, every time he glanced her way, and they way she took his compliments bashfully, smiling and looking away and occasionally blushing.
Once they got their coffee, I watched as she leaned forward flirtatiously, watching his face as if he was the only person in the room. Suddenly, with a giggle, she reached forward and swiped some whipped cream off his coffee cup. He gave her a shocked look, then an adoring grin, as he swiped the whipped cream off of her coffee in retaliation. She giggled and smirked at him as if telling him to be ready for payback. That was when it hit me. This couple is flirting. It seriously made my day.
In today's world, it can be so rare to see couples still in love, or even still married. So, to witness this couple, obviously so familiar with each other and blatantly in love with each other, was such a blessing. I don't know if anyone else in Starbucks even picked up on their flirtations, or the way he took her hand while they were leaving. Maybe it's the hopeless romantic in me that caught it, but I'm so glad I did, because, quite simply, it made my day.
Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥

CrazyGirl observes the Wolf Pack

So, this story starts a few months ago, when I was introduced to this girl. She seemed funny, and sweet, and we seemed to click pretty well. The next morning, she messaged me on Facebook and said simply that she was glad to have met me and that she hoped we'd have the chance to become closer, and that she knew we would become good friends. That girl was Alex.
Little did I know her words were far from inaccurate. I was slightly busy when I met her; juggling first a 19.5 credit workload and a part-time job, then moving from that directly into two jobs that left me working pretty much all the time. But, we managed to hang out here and there. Then, I found out my amazing news about going to Simpson, and I kind of just dropped myself off the social radar. I mean, I saw people every once in a while, but my real focus was working and moving to Simpson. Then, I got scheduled to be selling smoothies at a festival here in town, and in a spur of the moment decision, I tweeted that I'd be there and that someone should come visit me. Well, Alex decided to take me up on that offer. She came with a friend of hers, and afterwards they invited me to go to In-N-Out with them. Part of me argued and said "No. Don't go, you have to work." But then this other part of me was like "Umm . . . hello? You're young. You haven't done anything social in ages. JUST GO." So, I went. That was the night I met Nic. He seemed fun, and funny, and he and Alex kept referring to "The Wolf Pack" (whatever the heck that was). I never realized I'd actually end up introduced to them.
A few nights later, Alex and I decided to hang out again, then we decided "Hey. Why not invite the guys?" (At this point I'd only met Nic.) So, in a spur-of-the-moment decision, we invited a group of guys I'd never met to hang out at my house. (I know, I've gone off the deep end, right?) That night it ended up being me, Alex, Nic, Spencer, Austin, and this guy Taylor. He was the second member of the Wolf Pack I met. He seemed pretty cool, a good sense of humor and whatnot. But, again, I was kinda pretty much 100% focused on Simpson, so I didn't think much of it.
Then, a few nights after that, I was introduced to the rest of the Wolf Pack. I met Corey and Drew, and was there with Alex and Taylor. We had a ton of fun that night, just hanging out and being ourselves. But, again, I didn't really think much of it. Then, the more I was around the Wolf Pack, the more I loved them all. They all have such great personalities, and are some of the most amazing friends a person could ask for. I could go back and tell you every memory with them, but I don't think I could do all the memories justice.
Needless to say, Alex, Corey, Nic, Drew, and Taylor have all come to mean so much to me, and if you had told me that just over a month ago, I would have told you that you were crazy. I was headed to Simpson, that was all that mattered, and the last thing I needed was an attachment to this little town. And, yet, here I am, with a week and a half left before I move, and I'm already dreading that goodbye. These are the kinds of friends you want to keep for a lifetime, people who accept you where you're at, who are there for you when you're down, and are happy for you when you're glad. They can make me laugh and I don't feel the need to pretend in front of them. I know that they always have my back, just like I always have theirs. And, while I'm still very much looking forward to all the adventures to come at Simpson, I can only say that I'm thankful for every last memory I have with this random, crazy, amazing, wonderful group of people who call themselves "The Wolf Pack" and I am so honored and blessed beyond belief to have been able to experience this time with them, and to be a part of their Wolf Pack. I will miss them all so dearly, and I will look forward to seeing them when I'm home. But, most of all, I want to make the most of every last moment this next week and a half with the Wolf Pack.
I love you guys so much, it amazes even me.

Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥

CrazyGirl observes Passions

Passion. Obsession. Insanity. Call it what you will, but everyone has something that they feel passionately about. For some, it's politics, for others, music, and there's even some out there with a passion for math. As for me, I find passion in the small things.
Waking up early when I'm camping, drinking hot coffee, and just soaking up my surroundings. There's just something so wonderful about that. Or in my baking. I mean, something about measuring, mixing, and then baking something is so wonderful it's therapeutic. Pulling a warm, savory smelling tray of muffins out of the oven? It's pure bliss.
I find passion in reading. I absolutely love being able to find a great book and just get lost in it. How amazing that someone can so eloquently phrase something, that you find yourself in a whole other world, just based off letters on a page. And music. I ADORE music. No, you're right, I couldn't carry a tune if I had a bucket to hold it in, but that's never stopped me from being passionate about music. I love getting lost in a song, when you can just completely relate to the lyrics, and the instruments are so perfectly played. I love when you can feel a song building; a soft intro with just piano or guitar, then they bring in the percussion and then the lyrics are just so powerful you're completely blown away. That's something I find passion in.
I also find passion in my writing. This blog, my journal, my poems, and my songs. My journal probably holds the best of my writing, because I allow myself to get so lost in the writing, not worrying about who will see it, and what they'll think. Which, occasionally leaves me stumped as to what I should write about on here. Not because I'm really concerned that someone might not like me, but because sometimes I wonder if people can actually handle what goes on in my mind. My second best writing is probably in my songs, because I really just express myself. I try not to force the lyrics, so I have notebook after notebook of little one liners I scratched down as they popped in my head. But, there is no feeling that really compares to being able to actually finish a song. After reading, rereading, and tweaking all the little details, then having it express what I want in a way that just flows. That's always so amazing to me. And, part of me wants to put my songs out there, then I do this thing where I type the whole thing out, get ready to post, and chicken out. Maybe someday though.
Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥

CrazyGirl observes New Adventures

Life has this funny way of doing what we least expect. Things we expect to be easy can end up being extremely challenging. Things we figured would be a challenge end up being a piece of cake. Curveballs are more common than a perfectly laid plan that actually works.
When you look back at your outlook on life from one, two, or even ten years past, you realize that most of the time you aren't where you expected to be. You may not be far off, but most of the time you aren't right on, either. This isn't a bad thing, it's what makes life an adventure because you never know where you will end up.
God calls us all different places, and that TOTALLY plays a part in where we end up. If you had asked my sister when she was a freshman in high school if she would ever travel to Russia, she probably would have said no, yet, just a few nights ago I went with to pick her up from her month long trip to Russia. Yet, if you would have asked me when I was a freshmen in high school if I would ever go to community college, I would have laughed, told you that you were crazy, and sworn that I was headed straight to a four year university. Yet, I just finished year two at my local community college. If you would have asked me when I was four years old what I would be doing after I graduated from high school, I probably would have told you that I would either be A) breeding dogs or B) married to Prince Charming. Neither of those are anywhere near where I'm at today. And in all honesty, I'm okay with that. God is working in my life in big ways, and I am absolutely excited about where my life is heading. It was nowhere near what I had planned out for myself, but that is okay, because God's plan for me is SO much bigger than my own and that is absolutely beyond 100% amazing. He has provided more than I could ever have imagined for myself.
Which brings me to the main point of my blog post tonight, I, CrazyGirl am excited to announce that come fall, I will be heading off to Simpson University♥. That's right, I am completely 100% finished with community college and heading off to the school of my dreams. As if that's not enough, God has also provided me with three amazing roommates; Allison, Courtney, and Hannah. We've talked via Facebook, and I can already tell this year is going to be an amazing one. I cannot wait to meet these girls and share our year at Simpson
Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥ (AKA a Simpson Red Hawk)

CrazyGirl observes the struggle

So, a few weeks ago now, I did a post about Prince Charming, and how I needed to spend the time enjoying my friends and not be focused on finding him. Well, I'm finding that's not always as easy at it sounds. I AM enjoying time with my friends, that's not a problem, the problem is how often I'm reminded of how single I am. I don't try to look for the clues. In fact, I try to avoid all those reminders. But, when you're cruising along, windows down, music up and some cute love song comes on, and you aren't the one in charge of the radio, it's like *BAM* instant reminder. It's hard when you struggle with being happy for someone and completely bummed at the same time. And I feel like I'm doing that pretty much every single day. Most of my friends are in relationships, and I struggle with being jealous. This isn't a pity party, so don't take it that way. This is my attempt at being honest with you guys. I'm getting real, and letting you know that this stuff I say on here, it doesn't all come easy. I wish it did. But, I struggle. I mean, I am only human.
I still deal with the urge to go to a party in hopes of having some kind of a social life. And, I definitely still struggle with the desire to be in a relationship. I don't have this thought that a relationship will make me whole, or make my whole life perfect or anything like that. I know that being in a relationship has struggles of its own. I just have this extremely deep-rooted desire to have a relationship. And I couldn't even tell you why. Maybe it's that since I was a little kid, I've wanted to be Cinderella, or that I have an addiction to romance novels. But, either way, I still struggle with the longing to have someone love me that way. And I don't want one of those little flings that won't ever mean anything. I don't want a flirtationship (where you flirt all the time, and border on dating, but know it won't ever happen). I want a relationship. I try to stop those thoughts when they come. Take them captive and throw them out. But, they seem to be so persistent, constantly barging into my mind. I've been praying about it. But still I feel overwhelmed.
It's so ironic that I should be so overcome by the desire for a relationship when the creator of the universe longs for one with me. We have a relationship, God and I, but I wouldn't consider it romantic. I don't know that that's what God wants either. I trust Him, with my life, my future, my feelings, my thoughts, everything. I've given this issue to Him over and over and over. Yet, so much of the world seems focused on the romance, and avoiding it is pretty much impossible. I know the perfect guy for me is out there waiting, and I pray for him every morning and every night. But still I struggle.
It sometimes seems to me that all I ever do anymore is struggle with getting rid of these thoughts, thinking of other things, praying about forgetting this idea. But still it persists. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm only human after all. I'm entrusting it to my Heavenly father, AGAIN. I just pray I can learn to be content where I am. Which is very very single.
Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥