So, unless you've been living under a rock your entire life (and possibly even then) you've noticed that guys and girls are, well, different. We differ in lots of way from dressing styles to fighting styles to our ideas on what counts as quality time. But, I've noticed that one of the biggest ways guys and girls differ is in their view on this wonderful thing we like to call "the friendzone."
To guys, the friendzone is seen as being close to death, not a place you EVER want to be, especially not when it comes to a girl you're attracted to. It's a fate worse than death to some guys, seeing it as always being super close to being more than friends, but actually stuck pining after a girl like a puppy dog while hearing about her heartbreak after heartbreak, knowing she'll never see you as dating material.
To girls (at least in my experience) the friendzone is actually a great place for a guy to be. ESPECIALLY if you're interested in him. You see, for a guy to jump from random acquaintance to boyfriend is actually pretty rare, and the chances of that working out in the long term are even more rare. Girls desire a close relationship with those they're dating, and being her friend first is a great way to get there. Girls tend to see guys in the friendzone (especially thoughtful guys in the friendzone) as guys they might consider dating, because they have built a firm foundation of friendship with the guy and feel like they connect on a deeper level. Of course, there are always the times the friendzone is used as a way to get rid of unwanted advances from a male friend, but usually that's pretty obvious because the girl will call you "buddy, pal, friend, etc." way more often than is natural. It's really not a great way to ward off undesired affection, because it leaves the guy with too much hope and that's not fair, it's a much better idea to just be straightforward and honest with the guy. But, if a girl introduces you to her gal pals as her "friend, so-and-so" it doesn't mean you are automatically not considered dating material. Because, let's be real, how awkward would it be if she introduced you as "the guy who is my friend right now because I'm still getting to know him but hopefully holds the potential to be my boyfriend because I find him really attractive especially as I get to know him, so-and-so"?
As a girl, I'm going to be real here. Yes, there will always be that first initial attraction. But, in the long run that doesn't mean much of anything. I can think of plenty of guys I was immediately attracted to who, after getting to know them, don't necessarily care to spend time around them. Then there are guys who I didn't immediately SWOON over, but after spending time getting to know them and hanging out with them, find them entirely attractive because they have not only physical attractiveness, but also I'm attracted to their personality, which, in the long run, is worth more than any physical attraction. Yes, physical attraction comes into play (I mean, heck, this could end up being the person you spend the rest of your life with, and that includes all of the physical aspects of marriage), but when a person's personality attracts you, you will find yourself more and more physically attracted to them as well. I'm not trying to sound all cliché here, but I'm actually speaking from the heart. It's refreshing to meet guys who still believe in being chivalrous, who still act like gentlemen, and most of all, (partially because it's so rare) it's great to meet guys who want to spend time getting to know you as a FRIEND first instead of rushing into the physical stuff, and only the physical stuff.
Guys, believe me when I say that the friendzone can actually be the best place to be.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl
No comments:
Post a Comment