So, here's the thing. I go to a private Christian university (if you don't know that by now. . . well, you don't pay attention very well), and within that community (an amazing one I might add) the term "love languages" gets tossed around in everyday conversation. I'm not saying that as a bad thing, just as an observation. If you don't know what love languages are, they are basically 5 ways that people can express love to you, and there are lots of online resources to find out which of these love languages speaks most to you personally. The five love languages are quality time, acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation, and physical touch. All of these love languages are equally important, but today, I want to focus on physical touch.
Physical touch is my number one love language by a long shot. But here's the thing I've noticed, it's also the most controversial love language. It's not hard to see why, because it can so easily get out of hand. However, I want to attempt to debunk some of the stigma that comes with being someone whose love language is physical touch.
First, foremost, and most bluntly put, it does not make you a slut if physical touch is your love language. You do not have to make out with and hang all over people to feel loved. In all honesty, a pat on the arm, or a hug when you say hi, or even a high five are all wonderful ways in which you can feel loved without crossing boundaries of physical touch.
However, having physical touch as your love language comes with some things you need to realize about yourself. Because physical touch is what makes you feel the most loved, it also makes you more vulnerable to getting caught up in the physical touch. It makes it that much easier to go from sitting closely to cuddling. It also means that all of that carries much more weight for you than the average person. It never occurred to me that cuddling could be a casual thing, (you cuddle once because it felt nice and you move on?) because to me, that means so much. I used to complain about how I have never held hands with a guy, but as I've gotten older, I realized that even something as simple as that can hold so much meaning to someone whose love language is physical touch. Which is why it's a blessing that I have been spared that attachment to people who would just end up leaving after all is said and done.
But, enough of my rambling. To sum things up, physical touch is a valid love language, it just means that certain things need to be viewed with a lens of caution, and it absolutely, 100% does not mean you are a slut or will inevitably become one. So, people, can we please stop saying that?
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Saturday, September 19, 2015
CrazyGirl Observes Choices
Sometimes life does this crazy thing where it gives you two very noticeable choices; the easy way or the scary way. As I've gotten older, I've started realizing that the easy way doesn't always warrant the results we desire. Sometimes, you have to make the scary choice.
Today, I went out with some friends and we hiked our way to some really neat waterfalls. Now, you need to know a few things for this to make any sense to you, first, these waterfalls are popular because you can jump off of them, second, I am utterly terrified of heights (I literally had a panic attack after trying a ropes course when I was in high school).
Since I was there, I was presented with my two choices. The Easy Way: hang out at the bottom of the falls and cheer on my friends as they all jumped one by one. The Scary Way: Climb to the top, look over the edge, and jump.
Again, remember that I am terrified of heights. I decided that if I was going to jump I needed to do it before I psyched myself out, so I climbed up the little trail to the top, looked over the edge, and panicked. It was SO FAR down. My heart was beating out of my chest and I knew if I didn't go soon, I was going to have to make the walk of shame back down the path I had come up. One of my friends jumped, and I told myself I needed to go next. So, trying not to shake, I stepped up to the rock, and looked down. Cue the panic. Most of me wanted to turn around and run back down the path. In my head, I kept repeating "What am I doing? What was I thinking? I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this." I turned to one of my friends and seriously considered bolting for the path behind her, but she was encouraging and said "Katie, you can do this. You just have to do a countdown," so I took a deep breath and turned back towards the water below while she continued counting.
Her: "3"
My brain: "ARE YOU CRAZY? You can't jump. But if you don't, you have to walk back down the path."
Her: "2"
My brain: "You aren't actually going to jump are you? That's insanity. You'll be fine if you don't jump."
Her: "1"
I took one last deep breath, felt every muscle in my body tighten, and pushed off. Then, suddenly, I was free falling, which is both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. It seemed to take forever to hit the water, but when I finally did, I realized just what I had done. I jumped. I made the scary choice.
Sometimes, in our daily lives, there are choices that are scary, even if you know it's the only way to get the desired result, it's still scary. If you are in a position where the right choice is the scary choice, I want to encourage you to take a deep breath and jump.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl
Today, I went out with some friends and we hiked our way to some really neat waterfalls. Now, you need to know a few things for this to make any sense to you, first, these waterfalls are popular because you can jump off of them, second, I am utterly terrified of heights (I literally had a panic attack after trying a ropes course when I was in high school).
Since I was there, I was presented with my two choices. The Easy Way: hang out at the bottom of the falls and cheer on my friends as they all jumped one by one. The Scary Way: Climb to the top, look over the edge, and jump.
Again, remember that I am terrified of heights. I decided that if I was going to jump I needed to do it before I psyched myself out, so I climbed up the little trail to the top, looked over the edge, and panicked. It was SO FAR down. My heart was beating out of my chest and I knew if I didn't go soon, I was going to have to make the walk of shame back down the path I had come up. One of my friends jumped, and I told myself I needed to go next. So, trying not to shake, I stepped up to the rock, and looked down. Cue the panic. Most of me wanted to turn around and run back down the path. In my head, I kept repeating "What am I doing? What was I thinking? I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this." I turned to one of my friends and seriously considered bolting for the path behind her, but she was encouraging and said "Katie, you can do this. You just have to do a countdown," so I took a deep breath and turned back towards the water below while she continued counting.
Her: "3"
My brain: "ARE YOU CRAZY? You can't jump. But if you don't, you have to walk back down the path."
Her: "2"
My brain: "You aren't actually going to jump are you? That's insanity. You'll be fine if you don't jump."
Her: "1"
I took one last deep breath, felt every muscle in my body tighten, and pushed off. Then, suddenly, I was free falling, which is both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. It seemed to take forever to hit the water, but when I finally did, I realized just what I had done. I jumped. I made the scary choice.
Sometimes, in our daily lives, there are choices that are scary, even if you know it's the only way to get the desired result, it's still scary. If you are in a position where the right choice is the scary choice, I want to encourage you to take a deep breath and jump.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl
Monday, August 10, 2015
CrazyGirl observes the Future
Fun fact about me: I actually quite like discovering new things about myself or how certain aspects of my personality tie into different parts of my life. I like doing things like taking the Myers-Briggs personality test, and finding that I am 110% an ENFP (another fun fact: I am literally 100% extroverted. . .shocker, right??) or taking the love languages test and discovering that while physical touch is my number one by a long shot, acts of service are my lowest by a long shot. I like discovering new things to be passionate about and to throw my energy into, like salsa dancing, painting, and (surprise surprise) blogging. Sometimes it's hard to admit things about yourself, even TO yourself. When I was younger, I didn't like to think I had a flair for the dramatics (I most definitely did, and probably still do). In junior high and high school, I hated admitting that I lacked self-confidence and felt annoying all the time. But, being able to acknowledge and address these things has helped me to become the person I am today. Admitting something about yourself to yourself is the first step towards changing what you might perceive as a negative, into a positive. Being self-conscious and unsure of myself was no fun while it was happening, but it also gave me the experience and perspective to relate to others experiencing the same thing and attempt to equip them with truths that can alter their perspective of themselves.
Lately, I have had lots of conversations that have turned into self-reflections. I have realized some areas of my life that I need to pay a little attention to, so that I can adjust them to help me better reflect Christ in my daily living. I have also realized some areas that maybe I need to take a step away from so that I can focus on other things, more important things.
I have noticed lately, that I interrupt. I don't do this to be rude, and most of the time, I honestly don't realize I'm doing it. But, someone will say something that will trigger a thought and before I can stop myself the thought pops out of my mouth, regardless of whether or not you were finished. I definitely need to work on that. I also pass snap judgments about others, without really stopping to think about it. And, a lot of the time, I unnecessarily vocalize these judgments.
But, this blog post isn't just about my shortcomings, and most of you don't want to read through all of those anyway (my siblings might). This post is also about growth. I have finally gotten into a habit of doing a devotion every night before bed. Not the quick "Oh, I read today's thing, I'm good. God, you saw that right? Right. Good." type thing I used to do when I said I was doing devotion. But, I've actually spent time praying and listening to God (which can be hard for me. . . I like to talk. . .A LOT), I have been immersing myself in the word (and actually finding that I can get just as lost in the Bible as I can one of my cheesy romance novels), and trying to seek God's will for every moment in my life, so that I can honor Him with my actions. And one of the biggest things is (and you can probably guess this if you have followed my blog for any solid amount of time) relationships. Try as I may, they seem to continuously slip into the number one priority in my life. And that needs to change. I'm not saying that if God brought a guy into my life tomorrow, I would be opposed to it, I mean that it would need to be God bringing that gentleman into my life and not me searching for him. Ever since my first day of kindergarten, when I walked into the classroom, set my eyes on a guy, and decided I liked him (and continued to like him through 6th grade), I have had the innate ability to become attached to people who don't see the same value in me. (Probably played a big part in my self-esteem issues). Whether it's the guy who sits next to me in class, or the girl I thought was my friend, I place value in relationships that aren't always two-sided. This is especially true when it comes to crushes. I don't even think I can count the number of times I walked in the front door after school and announced to my mom that I had found the guy I was going to marry (and at least 75% of them didn't realize I existed). Now, I know that I tend to be someone who tries to see the good in just about everyone (I'm not perfect, it doesn't always happen), and sometimes, I let that override red flags that suggest this may not be the greatest situation for my own emotional health. Which explains a lot of the crushes I had in high school. . . Anyway, not the point. The point is, I know I get attached really fast, even if the feelings aren't returned. Which is a big part of the reason I know I need to stop putting so much focus on relationships. Another reason is that for SO LONG, I viewed the lack of physical affection I had shared with guys to be this huge problem. I had convinced myself that it reflected something wrong with me. (I realize now, that God was protecting me from something that was much more dangerous that I had ever perceived it to be.) And lately, the topic of kissing has come up multiple times in multiple conversations with multiple different people. So, I started praying about it, and asking God about my perspective on kissing, and I realized something; if I can get so attached to someone with absolutely zero physical affection being shared, how much more attached will I get when physical affection takes place? That's a scary road to go down. Now, if you and I have ever had a conversation about kissing, and your first kiss, you've probably hear my little rant about how I have respect for people who can save their first kiss for their wedding day, but that won't ever be me, because let's be frank, having your first kiss in front of a bunch of people, after enduring the stress of a wedding, and then losing your virginity all in one day is a lot of pressure. But, lately I've realized that even that doesn't mean I need to go around kissing guys (which, if you would have asked me two weeks ago, if I would be okay with a guy I wasn't dating kissing me, I would have told you that as long as there was mutual interest, I would be totally fine with it). In fact, if I want to save my whole heart for the man I marry, I probably shouldn't kiss any other guys (and, let's be real, I don't like thinking about other girls kissing my future husband). So, in order to avoid a super awkward first kiss in front of a bunch of people (and don't try to tell me it won't be awkward, I am an incredibly awkward individual) I have decided that my first kiss needs to wait until I am engaged to marry the man I will spend the rest of my life with.
I'm not saying that this is the path for everyone. It never once says in the Bible that "You shalt not kiss until you are engaged." I am simply trying to share with you the process through which God and I came to that decision regarding my future together. I can't sit here and tell you that God doesn't want you to kiss your significant other, but I can tell you that it's a matter between you and God. Now, maybe this decision came a little easier to me since I haven't experienced much in the way of PDA, and I am still single. But, my suggestion to you is that if you feel God tugging at your heart, trying to get your attention, take a while to just listen. His plans are always greater than anything we could ever imagine for ourselves, and while the reasons don't make sense at first, there comes a time (although not guaranteed to be in this lifetime) when the reasons line up, and you understand why God said "NO" when you prayed for that certain circumstance (yeah, whenever I PRAYED with all my might that THIS guy might just kiss me, God said no). Things always turn out better when you listen to God first, instead of trying to do them your own way. Trust me.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl
P.S. I recently came across a quote that goes something like this "My entire life can be summed up in one sentence: it didn't go as planned and that's okay." That's also a pretty good summary of this post.
Lately, I have had lots of conversations that have turned into self-reflections. I have realized some areas of my life that I need to pay a little attention to, so that I can adjust them to help me better reflect Christ in my daily living. I have also realized some areas that maybe I need to take a step away from so that I can focus on other things, more important things.
I have noticed lately, that I interrupt. I don't do this to be rude, and most of the time, I honestly don't realize I'm doing it. But, someone will say something that will trigger a thought and before I can stop myself the thought pops out of my mouth, regardless of whether or not you were finished. I definitely need to work on that. I also pass snap judgments about others, without really stopping to think about it. And, a lot of the time, I unnecessarily vocalize these judgments.
But, this blog post isn't just about my shortcomings, and most of you don't want to read through all of those anyway (my siblings might). This post is also about growth. I have finally gotten into a habit of doing a devotion every night before bed. Not the quick "Oh, I read today's thing, I'm good. God, you saw that right? Right. Good." type thing I used to do when I said I was doing devotion. But, I've actually spent time praying and listening to God (which can be hard for me. . . I like to talk. . .A LOT), I have been immersing myself in the word (and actually finding that I can get just as lost in the Bible as I can one of my cheesy romance novels), and trying to seek God's will for every moment in my life, so that I can honor Him with my actions. And one of the biggest things is (and you can probably guess this if you have followed my blog for any solid amount of time) relationships. Try as I may, they seem to continuously slip into the number one priority in my life. And that needs to change. I'm not saying that if God brought a guy into my life tomorrow, I would be opposed to it, I mean that it would need to be God bringing that gentleman into my life and not me searching for him. Ever since my first day of kindergarten, when I walked into the classroom, set my eyes on a guy, and decided I liked him (and continued to like him through 6th grade), I have had the innate ability to become attached to people who don't see the same value in me. (Probably played a big part in my self-esteem issues). Whether it's the guy who sits next to me in class, or the girl I thought was my friend, I place value in relationships that aren't always two-sided. This is especially true when it comes to crushes. I don't even think I can count the number of times I walked in the front door after school and announced to my mom that I had found the guy I was going to marry (and at least 75% of them didn't realize I existed). Now, I know that I tend to be someone who tries to see the good in just about everyone (I'm not perfect, it doesn't always happen), and sometimes, I let that override red flags that suggest this may not be the greatest situation for my own emotional health. Which explains a lot of the crushes I had in high school. . . Anyway, not the point. The point is, I know I get attached really fast, even if the feelings aren't returned. Which is a big part of the reason I know I need to stop putting so much focus on relationships. Another reason is that for SO LONG, I viewed the lack of physical affection I had shared with guys to be this huge problem. I had convinced myself that it reflected something wrong with me. (I realize now, that God was protecting me from something that was much more dangerous that I had ever perceived it to be.) And lately, the topic of kissing has come up multiple times in multiple conversations with multiple different people. So, I started praying about it, and asking God about my perspective on kissing, and I realized something; if I can get so attached to someone with absolutely zero physical affection being shared, how much more attached will I get when physical affection takes place? That's a scary road to go down. Now, if you and I have ever had a conversation about kissing, and your first kiss, you've probably hear my little rant about how I have respect for people who can save their first kiss for their wedding day, but that won't ever be me, because let's be frank, having your first kiss in front of a bunch of people, after enduring the stress of a wedding, and then losing your virginity all in one day is a lot of pressure. But, lately I've realized that even that doesn't mean I need to go around kissing guys (which, if you would have asked me two weeks ago, if I would be okay with a guy I wasn't dating kissing me, I would have told you that as long as there was mutual interest, I would be totally fine with it). In fact, if I want to save my whole heart for the man I marry, I probably shouldn't kiss any other guys (and, let's be real, I don't like thinking about other girls kissing my future husband). So, in order to avoid a super awkward first kiss in front of a bunch of people (and don't try to tell me it won't be awkward, I am an incredibly awkward individual) I have decided that my first kiss needs to wait until I am engaged to marry the man I will spend the rest of my life with.
I'm not saying that this is the path for everyone. It never once says in the Bible that "You shalt not kiss until you are engaged." I am simply trying to share with you the process through which God and I came to that decision regarding my future together. I can't sit here and tell you that God doesn't want you to kiss your significant other, but I can tell you that it's a matter between you and God. Now, maybe this decision came a little easier to me since I haven't experienced much in the way of PDA, and I am still single. But, my suggestion to you is that if you feel God tugging at your heart, trying to get your attention, take a while to just listen. His plans are always greater than anything we could ever imagine for ourselves, and while the reasons don't make sense at first, there comes a time (although not guaranteed to be in this lifetime) when the reasons line up, and you understand why God said "NO" when you prayed for that certain circumstance (yeah, whenever I PRAYED with all my might that THIS guy might just kiss me, God said no). Things always turn out better when you listen to God first, instead of trying to do them your own way. Trust me.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl
P.S. I recently came across a quote that goes something like this "My entire life can be summed up in one sentence: it didn't go as planned and that's okay." That's also a pretty good summary of this post.
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
CrazyGirl observes a Prideful Fall
So, if any of you know me on a fairly personal basis, you know that I really despise asking other people for help. There really is no logic behind it, considering that I actually like it when people ask me for help with things, but somewhere inside my rather odd brain, a conversation along the lines of this takes place:
Me: I probably shouldn't do this by myself, I should definitely ask for help. . . who might be available to help?
Brain: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You don't want to do that.
Me: Yeah, I actually do, I need the help.
Brain: But, if you ask for help, you might inconvenience them, and they might resent you for that.
Me: That's silly. They're my friends, I'm allowed to ask for help.
Brain: But that makes you pathetic and weak.
Me: Crud, you're right.
And then I end up doing something I should have asked for help on.
There is a reason that "acts of service" is low on my love languages list.
And today, I had to switch dorm rooms, which meant lugging all of my stuff from third floor to first floor. Doesn't seem that difficult, right? Well, when you recently had surgery, and have been working to strengthen that shoulder, but have only achieved an 8 pound dumbbell, things get a little tricky. Which is why I had the above conversation with myself.
Luckily, I have some friends who know that I occasionally (okay, ALWAYS) talk myself out of asking for help and they offered it. Which was a huge blessing, and (sadly) extremely difficult for me to accept.
Well, after months of thinking I'm making this huge progress with my shoulder, and then suddenly being incapable of moving my own junk down two flights of stairs, my pride started to get injured, and I started to get stubborn. I began moving stuff I knew I shouldn't lift, I just didn't want to feel incompetent. My shoulder started to ache, and I ignored it, reminding myself that I didn't want to be pathetic. Stubbornly, I refused to take Advil until I started feeling a sharp stabbing pain towards the end of my scar. I finally broke down and took one of the stronger painkillers the doctor gave me when I reached the point that every stair was excruciating because it jarred my shoulder. But I didn't want to sit down or stop because I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't pathetic.
Multiple people stopped me during those few hours of self-inflicted torture, to ask if I was okay and to ask if I needed help. And stupid, stubborn me told them I was fine and I didn't need help. Why? Because I didn't want to be pathetic in my own eyes.
I learned a few pretty important lessons tonight.
First, being stubborn comes with its own consequences, and I will probably experience those consequences for the next week.
Second, having limitations doesn't make you pathetic, it makes you human.
Third, real friends will not resent you for asking for help.
Fourth, I have a God who sends some pretty amazing and insightful people my way, who refuse to let me be too stubborn by telling me that I am going to learn to accept love in all the love languages including acts of service.
And finally, God always provides. He provided me help MULTIPLE times, I was just too stubborn to take it. I mean, He might as well have whacked me over the head with a brick that reads "Allow them to help, you idiot." But, silly, strange, and downright obnoxious human pride stopped me from accepting the help. And for what? To prove to myself that I could lift a box? To show myself I wasn't pathetic? Honestly, I feel like my stubbornness just made me even more pathetic. I was too prideful to accept the help I knew I needed, despite the fact that literally my entire body was screaming at me for what I was doing.
All in all, I learned my limitations, and realized that pride can make me a real idiot. I need to learn to humble myself enough to ask for the things I need. Like help dragging boxes down two flights of stairs.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl
Me: I probably shouldn't do this by myself, I should definitely ask for help. . . who might be available to help?
Brain: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You don't want to do that.
Me: Yeah, I actually do, I need the help.
Brain: But, if you ask for help, you might inconvenience them, and they might resent you for that.
Me: That's silly. They're my friends, I'm allowed to ask for help.
Brain: But that makes you pathetic and weak.
Me: Crud, you're right.
And then I end up doing something I should have asked for help on.
There is a reason that "acts of service" is low on my love languages list.
And today, I had to switch dorm rooms, which meant lugging all of my stuff from third floor to first floor. Doesn't seem that difficult, right? Well, when you recently had surgery, and have been working to strengthen that shoulder, but have only achieved an 8 pound dumbbell, things get a little tricky. Which is why I had the above conversation with myself.
Luckily, I have some friends who know that I occasionally (okay, ALWAYS) talk myself out of asking for help and they offered it. Which was a huge blessing, and (sadly) extremely difficult for me to accept.
Well, after months of thinking I'm making this huge progress with my shoulder, and then suddenly being incapable of moving my own junk down two flights of stairs, my pride started to get injured, and I started to get stubborn. I began moving stuff I knew I shouldn't lift, I just didn't want to feel incompetent. My shoulder started to ache, and I ignored it, reminding myself that I didn't want to be pathetic. Stubbornly, I refused to take Advil until I started feeling a sharp stabbing pain towards the end of my scar. I finally broke down and took one of the stronger painkillers the doctor gave me when I reached the point that every stair was excruciating because it jarred my shoulder. But I didn't want to sit down or stop because I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't pathetic.
Multiple people stopped me during those few hours of self-inflicted torture, to ask if I was okay and to ask if I needed help. And stupid, stubborn me told them I was fine and I didn't need help. Why? Because I didn't want to be pathetic in my own eyes.
I learned a few pretty important lessons tonight.
First, being stubborn comes with its own consequences, and I will probably experience those consequences for the next week.
Second, having limitations doesn't make you pathetic, it makes you human.
Third, real friends will not resent you for asking for help.
Fourth, I have a God who sends some pretty amazing and insightful people my way, who refuse to let me be too stubborn by telling me that I am going to learn to accept love in all the love languages including acts of service.
And finally, God always provides. He provided me help MULTIPLE times, I was just too stubborn to take it. I mean, He might as well have whacked me over the head with a brick that reads "Allow them to help, you idiot." But, silly, strange, and downright obnoxious human pride stopped me from accepting the help. And for what? To prove to myself that I could lift a box? To show myself I wasn't pathetic? Honestly, I feel like my stubbornness just made me even more pathetic. I was too prideful to accept the help I knew I needed, despite the fact that literally my entire body was screaming at me for what I was doing.
All in all, I learned my limitations, and realized that pride can make me a real idiot. I need to learn to humble myself enough to ask for the things I need. Like help dragging boxes down two flights of stairs.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
CrazyGirl observes Life Seasons
I'm sure that I've touched on the idea that life comes in seasons. Some more stressful or sad or overwhelming, others exciting, beautiful, and joyous. This past season in my life is coming to an end. And without a doubt, I can call it a season of stress. I took an overload of classes, didn't have an income (seeing as I couldn't work because of my shoulder being injured), and had physical therapy three times a week every week. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I was in class by 9 am and didn't stop until 5:30 when I finished PT. Tuesdays and Thursdays were lighter on the classes, but were crammed with homework, volunteer hours, and the semblance of a social life I was trying to maintain. Then, to add to the insanity, I had to get all of the pre-finals projects done BEFORE they were due, so that I could return home to have surgery on my injured shoulder. What we thought was one bone spur and some swelling in my ligaments (which would entail orthoscopic surgery) actually turned out to be four bone spurs (OUCH) and a large, purple, four inch long scar on my right shoulder. When I returned from surgery, it was time to jump straight back into everything, with the exception that I couldn't move my right arm (let's just say that 19 credits worth of left-handed note taking seemed rather daunting), luckily I had very understanding professors who allowed me to bring my computer for taking notes. But, that still left tests and homework to be done left-handed. Then, apparently I live up to my blog name, because I added a job on top of everything else. Stress levels accumulated during finals week, when I was in charge of two kids all week, as well as my finals, saying goodbye to all my friends for summer, and a few (including those I've known for 11 years now) for a long time (I refuse to say forever, because we have to see each other again). During all this, my sister announced that she was moving to Arkansas right after graduation. I was sad, stressed, and incredibly short tempered. This was not helped when two days before graduation, my summer job fell through, and I was unable to follow through with my summer plans. However, with graduation being the climax of the stress, summer arrived, and brought with it a season full of exciting changes.
First, I took some time to recuperate. Then I bought a car and went to pick it up (today actually). But the most exciting of the changes starts a LONG time ago, with two little girls who had no clue just how much they would end up meaning to each other. You see, when I was in kindergarten, and she was in preschool, I met the girl who is my best friend, my "puddin' cup," my Kayla-Poo. Two and a half years ago, she married the man of her dreams, and they moved away from me . . . to Italy. Which kind of sucks a lot. Instead of being a short walk away from each other, we now have an ocean between us, and a 9 hour time difference, that makes Skype calls difficult to schedule. But, that hasn't stopped us, and I am excited to say that I am going to be an "auntie" to their baby, due in November. A part of me is sad that I don't get to be right next to her through this new life season, but more of me is just so entirely excited for my wonderful friend and her husband. I pray blessings over them and their new family member. Auntie, can't wait to meet you.
First, I took some time to recuperate. Then I bought a car and went to pick it up (today actually). But the most exciting of the changes starts a LONG time ago, with two little girls who had no clue just how much they would end up meaning to each other. You see, when I was in kindergarten, and she was in preschool, I met the girl who is my best friend, my "puddin' cup," my Kayla-Poo. Two and a half years ago, she married the man of her dreams, and they moved away from me . . . to Italy. Which kind of sucks a lot. Instead of being a short walk away from each other, we now have an ocean between us, and a 9 hour time difference, that makes Skype calls difficult to schedule. But, that hasn't stopped us, and I am excited to say that I am going to be an "auntie" to their baby, due in November. A part of me is sad that I don't get to be right next to her through this new life season, but more of me is just so entirely excited for my wonderful friend and her husband. I pray blessings over them and their new family member. Auntie, can't wait to meet you.
Til Next Time,
(Aunt) CrazyGirl
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
CrazyGirl observes the Friendzone
So, unless you've been living under a rock your entire life (and possibly even then) you've noticed that guys and girls are, well, different. We differ in lots of way from dressing styles to fighting styles to our ideas on what counts as quality time. But, I've noticed that one of the biggest ways guys and girls differ is in their view on this wonderful thing we like to call "the friendzone."
To guys, the friendzone is seen as being close to death, not a place you EVER want to be, especially not when it comes to a girl you're attracted to. It's a fate worse than death to some guys, seeing it as always being super close to being more than friends, but actually stuck pining after a girl like a puppy dog while hearing about her heartbreak after heartbreak, knowing she'll never see you as dating material.
To girls (at least in my experience) the friendzone is actually a great place for a guy to be. ESPECIALLY if you're interested in him. You see, for a guy to jump from random acquaintance to boyfriend is actually pretty rare, and the chances of that working out in the long term are even more rare. Girls desire a close relationship with those they're dating, and being her friend first is a great way to get there. Girls tend to see guys in the friendzone (especially thoughtful guys in the friendzone) as guys they might consider dating, because they have built a firm foundation of friendship with the guy and feel like they connect on a deeper level. Of course, there are always the times the friendzone is used as a way to get rid of unwanted advances from a male friend, but usually that's pretty obvious because the girl will call you "buddy, pal, friend, etc." way more often than is natural. It's really not a great way to ward off undesired affection, because it leaves the guy with too much hope and that's not fair, it's a much better idea to just be straightforward and honest with the guy. But, if a girl introduces you to her gal pals as her "friend, so-and-so" it doesn't mean you are automatically not considered dating material. Because, let's be real, how awkward would it be if she introduced you as "the guy who is my friend right now because I'm still getting to know him but hopefully holds the potential to be my boyfriend because I find him really attractive especially as I get to know him, so-and-so"?
As a girl, I'm going to be real here. Yes, there will always be that first initial attraction. But, in the long run that doesn't mean much of anything. I can think of plenty of guys I was immediately attracted to who, after getting to know them, don't necessarily care to spend time around them. Then there are guys who I didn't immediately SWOON over, but after spending time getting to know them and hanging out with them, find them entirely attractive because they have not only physical attractiveness, but also I'm attracted to their personality, which, in the long run, is worth more than any physical attraction. Yes, physical attraction comes into play (I mean, heck, this could end up being the person you spend the rest of your life with, and that includes all of the physical aspects of marriage), but when a person's personality attracts you, you will find yourself more and more physically attracted to them as well. I'm not trying to sound all cliché here, but I'm actually speaking from the heart. It's refreshing to meet guys who still believe in being chivalrous, who still act like gentlemen, and most of all, (partially because it's so rare) it's great to meet guys who want to spend time getting to know you as a FRIEND first instead of rushing into the physical stuff, and only the physical stuff.
Guys, believe me when I say that the friendzone can actually be the best place to be.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl
To guys, the friendzone is seen as being close to death, not a place you EVER want to be, especially not when it comes to a girl you're attracted to. It's a fate worse than death to some guys, seeing it as always being super close to being more than friends, but actually stuck pining after a girl like a puppy dog while hearing about her heartbreak after heartbreak, knowing she'll never see you as dating material.
To girls (at least in my experience) the friendzone is actually a great place for a guy to be. ESPECIALLY if you're interested in him. You see, for a guy to jump from random acquaintance to boyfriend is actually pretty rare, and the chances of that working out in the long term are even more rare. Girls desire a close relationship with those they're dating, and being her friend first is a great way to get there. Girls tend to see guys in the friendzone (especially thoughtful guys in the friendzone) as guys they might consider dating, because they have built a firm foundation of friendship with the guy and feel like they connect on a deeper level. Of course, there are always the times the friendzone is used as a way to get rid of unwanted advances from a male friend, but usually that's pretty obvious because the girl will call you "buddy, pal, friend, etc." way more often than is natural. It's really not a great way to ward off undesired affection, because it leaves the guy with too much hope and that's not fair, it's a much better idea to just be straightforward and honest with the guy. But, if a girl introduces you to her gal pals as her "friend, so-and-so" it doesn't mean you are automatically not considered dating material. Because, let's be real, how awkward would it be if she introduced you as "the guy who is my friend right now because I'm still getting to know him but hopefully holds the potential to be my boyfriend because I find him really attractive especially as I get to know him, so-and-so"?
As a girl, I'm going to be real here. Yes, there will always be that first initial attraction. But, in the long run that doesn't mean much of anything. I can think of plenty of guys I was immediately attracted to who, after getting to know them, don't necessarily care to spend time around them. Then there are guys who I didn't immediately SWOON over, but after spending time getting to know them and hanging out with them, find them entirely attractive because they have not only physical attractiveness, but also I'm attracted to their personality, which, in the long run, is worth more than any physical attraction. Yes, physical attraction comes into play (I mean, heck, this could end up being the person you spend the rest of your life with, and that includes all of the physical aspects of marriage), but when a person's personality attracts you, you will find yourself more and more physically attracted to them as well. I'm not trying to sound all cliché here, but I'm actually speaking from the heart. It's refreshing to meet guys who still believe in being chivalrous, who still act like gentlemen, and most of all, (partially because it's so rare) it's great to meet guys who want to spend time getting to know you as a FRIEND first instead of rushing into the physical stuff, and only the physical stuff.
Guys, believe me when I say that the friendzone can actually be the best place to be.
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl
Friday, January 30, 2015
CrazyGirl observes Social Media
So, if you know anything about me, you will quickly realize that I am completely and utterly addicted to social media. If I have spare time on my hands, you can usually find me browsing Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. I get really excited when someone likes a picture, or leaves a comment, or retweets something I posted. But, lately, I have started to become more and more disenchanted with the whole realm of social media.
First off, it is an addiction plain and simple. And addictions aren't healthy. If I want to be living a full and healthy life, it needs to be out in the world doing real things and enjoying every moment, not sitting by myself reading about everyone else's life on a phone screen. Or planning things in life on Pinterest. It's just unhealthy.
Secondly, social media has become the new way to have friendships. You can be "best friends" with someone, and never actually have to hang out with them or use your vocal chords to have a conversation. It has changed the entire dynamic of friendships. Someone got engaged? Great! I saw it on Facebook. Someone is having a baby? Yeah. I saw the announcement on Facebook. What happened to the days when being someone's friend meant getting together for coffee or at the very least gracing them with a phone call to talk about something big, important, and life-changing? I love my friends, but I don't want to have to find out every detail of their lives by looking at their Facebook or Twitter. I want to sit down and have coffee, and let them talk about whatever they want to update me on. I want to go to dinner and see their face when they announce that they're engaged. I don't want an inbox message or to see the status update telling me all about this exciting part of their life, I want us BOTH to be able to live it.
Third, I am quickly realizing that the people I'm friends with on Facebook says something about me. Whether or not I intend it, what THEY are posting is reflected through me. When my friend opens up my Facebook as a joke to post a "Hacked. Lol." status, I don't want them to have to see the f-bomb a thousand times, or see a half-naked woman that you liked or shared. I don't want to see it either, but sadly, a good portion of my "friends" are only still friends on social media because it would cause more drama to unfriend them than to just ignore their posts. But, I'm tired of letting social media dictate my life. If I don't want to see that, why should I have to?
My fourth and final point, and also the biggest point of this post, came to me after a specifically challenging chapel today. You see, the speaker talked about how we so often see ourselves doing something other that what we are called to do. Whether you are called to be a teacher, a preacher, a nurse, or a trash man you are still called to be a light for Christ. This doesn't just mean on Sundays or during Bible study, it means all the time, every moment. You know when you just really want to smack something (or someone) because you are so annoyed? Don't do it. Remember that even in that moment you are called to be a Christ-like example. This includes in our social media. Now, I hope and pray that the stuff I'm posting on social media isn't considered inappropriate by any means, but I don't just want it to be considered appropriate, I want it to reflect and glorify a God who died to save me from my sins, who wants to heal my hurts, who catches every tear I cry, who has a wonderful and glorious plan for my life (greater than anything I could ever imagine for myself), and when I look at my social media profiles through that lens, I see just how short I fall. My Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram glorify me (who is worthy of no glory) and NOT my God who deserves ALL the glory. It has become about what the audience I am portraying myself to wants to see and not about whether or not it is glorifying to God.
For the reasons listed above, I am choosing to pursue a new season in my life, one that does not involve being glued to my phone, or worried about what I'm going to Tweet next. This is a season of cleansing and changing what I am doing in my own life so that I can rid myself of distractions, pursue a much closer relationship with my Savior, and actually LIVE my life, not view it through a phone screen.
I'm not going to lie, I am REALLY not looking forward to giving up my social media. I stay in contact with friends that way. (Sort of). It provides a good distraction when I might actually *gasp* have to WAIT for something. And let's be real, IT'S FUN. But, my life is not about me, it's not about the number of followers, likes, or retweets. My life purpose is to glorify and pursue the God who loves me and pursues me even with my flaws. And, frankly, social media is holding me back from that. So, here goes nothing . . .
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl
First off, it is an addiction plain and simple. And addictions aren't healthy. If I want to be living a full and healthy life, it needs to be out in the world doing real things and enjoying every moment, not sitting by myself reading about everyone else's life on a phone screen. Or planning things in life on Pinterest. It's just unhealthy.
Secondly, social media has become the new way to have friendships. You can be "best friends" with someone, and never actually have to hang out with them or use your vocal chords to have a conversation. It has changed the entire dynamic of friendships. Someone got engaged? Great! I saw it on Facebook. Someone is having a baby? Yeah. I saw the announcement on Facebook. What happened to the days when being someone's friend meant getting together for coffee or at the very least gracing them with a phone call to talk about something big, important, and life-changing? I love my friends, but I don't want to have to find out every detail of their lives by looking at their Facebook or Twitter. I want to sit down and have coffee, and let them talk about whatever they want to update me on. I want to go to dinner and see their face when they announce that they're engaged. I don't want an inbox message or to see the status update telling me all about this exciting part of their life, I want us BOTH to be able to live it.
Third, I am quickly realizing that the people I'm friends with on Facebook says something about me. Whether or not I intend it, what THEY are posting is reflected through me. When my friend opens up my Facebook as a joke to post a "Hacked. Lol." status, I don't want them to have to see the f-bomb a thousand times, or see a half-naked woman that you liked or shared. I don't want to see it either, but sadly, a good portion of my "friends" are only still friends on social media because it would cause more drama to unfriend them than to just ignore their posts. But, I'm tired of letting social media dictate my life. If I don't want to see that, why should I have to?
My fourth and final point, and also the biggest point of this post, came to me after a specifically challenging chapel today. You see, the speaker talked about how we so often see ourselves doing something other that what we are called to do. Whether you are called to be a teacher, a preacher, a nurse, or a trash man you are still called to be a light for Christ. This doesn't just mean on Sundays or during Bible study, it means all the time, every moment. You know when you just really want to smack something (or someone) because you are so annoyed? Don't do it. Remember that even in that moment you are called to be a Christ-like example. This includes in our social media. Now, I hope and pray that the stuff I'm posting on social media isn't considered inappropriate by any means, but I don't just want it to be considered appropriate, I want it to reflect and glorify a God who died to save me from my sins, who wants to heal my hurts, who catches every tear I cry, who has a wonderful and glorious plan for my life (greater than anything I could ever imagine for myself), and when I look at my social media profiles through that lens, I see just how short I fall. My Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram glorify me (who is worthy of no glory) and NOT my God who deserves ALL the glory. It has become about what the audience I am portraying myself to wants to see and not about whether or not it is glorifying to God.
For the reasons listed above, I am choosing to pursue a new season in my life, one that does not involve being glued to my phone, or worried about what I'm going to Tweet next. This is a season of cleansing and changing what I am doing in my own life so that I can rid myself of distractions, pursue a much closer relationship with my Savior, and actually LIVE my life, not view it through a phone screen.
I'm not going to lie, I am REALLY not looking forward to giving up my social media. I stay in contact with friends that way. (Sort of). It provides a good distraction when I might actually *gasp* have to WAIT for something. And let's be real, IT'S FUN. But, my life is not about me, it's not about the number of followers, likes, or retweets. My life purpose is to glorify and pursue the God who loves me and pursues me even with my flaws. And, frankly, social media is holding me back from that. So, here goes nothing . . .
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
CrazyGirl observes A New Opportunity
Alright, so any of you who know me well (or have spent about five minutes talking to me) know that I LOVE working with kids. I'm currently studying to become a kindergarten teacher, and am praying that someday I will have the opportunity to become a stay-at-home mom. I am that weirdo who sees a baby in public, and I immediately wave, make faces, play peek-a-boo, or all three. My entire future, is basically based off of my passion for this up and coming generation.
BUT, as I posted last time, I currently am experiencing some . . . technical difficulties with my shoulder, which is making it hard to find work. But, I also serve an amazing God who blessed me with some talent (or so I'm told) and a love for some crafty things. So, in this new and different season in my life, I am selling some knick knacks.
Originally, I was just going to sell hair bows. They're fun for me to make, and I can do it without much pain in my shoulder. Then, I made this really cool garland for my Gramma for Christmas, and realized I could do those too. And, after painting some canvases for my parents, I realized that custom canvas art is in high demand. So, it is with great joy, excitement, and an teensy weensy bit of nervousness that I get to announce the launch of my official Facebook page, the Katie Lady Bow-tique.
Honestly, entering into this season of classes, topped with physical therapy, the looming possibility of surgery, and the inability to get a job in food service or retail, I was extremely concerned and frightened at what it would bring. I'm still nervous about my pending surgery, but I am overjoyed that I have the ability to give this a shot and try something I never thought I'd have the opportunity to do.
So, as I enter a season of new things, I can honestly say that I have never been more grateful for the support and love of the people around me. Especially my family, who is so encouraging and loving and supportive.
Thank you all!
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl
BUT, as I posted last time, I currently am experiencing some . . . technical difficulties with my shoulder, which is making it hard to find work. But, I also serve an amazing God who blessed me with some talent (or so I'm told) and a love for some crafty things. So, in this new and different season in my life, I am selling some knick knacks.
Originally, I was just going to sell hair bows. They're fun for me to make, and I can do it without much pain in my shoulder. Then, I made this really cool garland for my Gramma for Christmas, and realized I could do those too. And, after painting some canvases for my parents, I realized that custom canvas art is in high demand. So, it is with great joy, excitement, and an teensy weensy bit of nervousness that I get to announce the launch of my official Facebook page, the Katie Lady Bow-tique.
Honestly, entering into this season of classes, topped with physical therapy, the looming possibility of surgery, and the inability to get a job in food service or retail, I was extremely concerned and frightened at what it would bring. I'm still nervous about my pending surgery, but I am overjoyed that I have the ability to give this a shot and try something I never thought I'd have the opportunity to do.
So, as I enter a season of new things, I can honestly say that I have never been more grateful for the support and love of the people around me. Especially my family, who is so encouraging and loving and supportive.
Thank you all!
Til Next Time,
CrazyGirl
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