CrazyGirl observes Timing

Timing is a funny thing. It can make or break something. I constantly hear "Oh . . . the timing just wasn't right." And, that's rough, because really we can't do much of anything about the timing of things. But, God controls that, and I believe He truly does let things play out in the perfect timing. An example of this happened tonight.
You see, like most girls, I struggle with self-image. And, lately, I've been struggling with it a lot more than usual. Just this morning I was praying in frustration, asking God why suddenly I was experiencing these insecurities again, trying to make sense of this sudden bad perception of myself. Then tonight, I was sitting in the food court at the mall with my roommate, talking, laughing, you know, normal young people stuff, when a woman approached me. "Um, excuse me, well, I really just felt God calling me to talk to you tonight. You just have this light about you, and so I wanted to give you this." Then she handed me a note and walked away. Curious, I opened the note, and what I read inside almost brought me to tears. "I see a gold crown on you, and that you have a gold heart. I also see a lot of light over you. I feel this scripture is for you. Zechariah 9:14 'Then God will come into view, His arrows flashing like lightning . . . God of angel armies will protect . . . He'll rescue them. They'll become like sheep, gentle and soft, or like gemstones in a crown of the sun. The how they'll shine! Shimmer! Glow!' You're beautiful" Honestly, there might have been a point in my life where I would have been completely weirded out by that entire situation. But, I know we serve a mighty God, and He cares for each of us individually. And when one of His children is suffering, or doubting the beauty He created them to be, He likes to remind them of His power and love. I don't know if that woman will ever know just how much her short note affected me, but I pray she might somehow know.
Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥

CrazyGirl observes...herself...

So, I'm gonna get really honest with you all tonight. I can be very judgmental. I have, on more than one occasion, been the person sitting in church thinking "Oh my gosh. Did you see what she is wearing? *cough* skanky *cough*" and "What is he doing here? He definitely is a party boy during the week, and cusses up a storm when he's not at church. Ugh." I'm sure that at one point, most of us have had thoughts similar, although yours might not necessarily be as harsh as mine tend to be. And, since I'm being 100% honest with you all tonight, I'll admit, I didn't see the problem with this. I was in church, on my high horse, judging everyone who walked through the door. That was just the way it worked. My problem was, I failed to realize that I am no better than any of them, in fact, I might just be worse. 

But, I recently have come to realize the MAJOR error of my ways. I am NO better than ANYONE. And I have no right to think I am. I needed a reality check, and someone had to knock me off my high horse. Now, I'm sorry to disappoint those of you who are hoping for some tragic story of someone coming along and popping my ego, insulting me to the point where I realized how wrong I'd been, but that's not quite how it happened. In fact, I got a pretty gentle wake-up call. 

Most of you have heard me talk about the Wolf Pack, and they are definitely where this all started. You see, I probably would never have hung out with any of them. They didn't fit the "image" of the crowd I was supposed to be hanging out with, at least in my own head. And, even still I'm amazed at how God put them in my life. It was nothing short of a miracle. This amazing group of people were the least judgmental people I'd ever met. And, suddenly, I was left to look at my past behaviors. 

Then, I moved up to Simpson, and I watched as tons of people did the exact same thing I'd always done. And no one ever thinks it's wrong. But, last night, I was sitting at church and the pastor was talking about the 1 John 3:15 "Anyone who hates his brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him." I was again struck with this thought that I am no better than anyone else. If God is the only judge, then who am I to judge everyone else? I am not better than anyone. I don't sin any less. I am just as much a sinner as every person I pass on the streets. So what makes me think I'm any better? I tried justifying it with "Oh, it's just human nature" and "Well, everyone does it." But, in reality, I need to check myself. And knock off this judgmental habit of mine. I'm not saying it's gonna be an overnight transformation, it's definitely something I'm working on everyday. But I'm making progress, and that's something. 

Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥

CrazyGirl observes Being Blessed

So, I've been up at Simpson for exactly a month today, and I absolutely love it! I have fantastic roommates and a great job! My classes are going great, and I'm adjusting to dorm life (AKA little to no sleep . . . EVER). But, this weekend, I had the opportunity to go home for the first time, and I took it.
Being someone who likes sleep, you know I was excited when I was willing to get up and be on the road by 8 a.m. on a Saturday morning. I had my stuff packed three days in advance, and I didn't shut up about going home the entire week leading up to it (and probably drove my roommates nuts). That morning, I was up bright and early, and actually smiling before 8 a.m. The drive home seemed to fly by, and when I passed the sign that said I was entering town I did a little happy dance (and to the guy driving next to me, don't judge. You have NO idea how happy I was to be home).
When I got home, Dad was the only one out in the living room, so I hugged him, then threw my bags on the floor and gave my puppies some love (and, yes, I used the puppy voice, thank you very much). Then, I got to see my mommy and get a good, old-fashioned Mommy-Hug (they work wonders, in case you didn't know). Then, I got to see almost the whole Wolf Pack, and I got to see Kelsey! It was amazing! Although, saying goodbye again kinda sorta really sucked. I mean, I know I'll be home again soon, but I still hate goodbyes.
Today, while a bit worn out, I have been in a FANTASTIC mood, and I honestly think it's because I got to spend some time at home with the people I love. There is something therapeutic in that. And, as hard as it is to say goodbye (I may or may not have cried for the first 15-20 minutes of the drive back to school), it is so worth it to see all the people you've been missing. I wouldn't trade it for anything. And, honestly, realizing how much I'd missed a town I never thought I'd miss was kind of astonishing. I can't wait to be back. ♥ I love the people who have made my life so blessed.
Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥

CrazyGirl observes the Odd Compliment

Today, as I was leaving class, one of the girls in my class commented on my outfit for the day (which, I might add, I was rather excited about wearing). She just happened to say in passing "Hey. I really like that skirt. You know, you always wear the cutest outfits."
Now, to most girls, that's a fairly common compliment, but that made me so excited. I have never really been one to dress up or even really make an effort for school. But, my goal for this school year was to move beyond my big tee-shirts and jeans stage and onto actually figuring out my own style. So, to have someone who had no idea that I was working on that, compliment my style was beyond amazing. She had absolutely no idea that she would make my entire day by saying that.
Which brings me to the real point. We say stuff all the time that we don't really think about. An odd compliment, or maybe even a snarky comment to a friend. But, what we don't realize, is those words have a certain amount of power in other people's lives. To the girl you just complimented, you could have just made her entire day. But, if that guy heard the sarcastic insult about him you muttered to your friend, you could ruin his day. Our words have power. (A lot of it.) And we take that for granted on a daily basis. But, maybe we should all think about using the power of our words, and the power of a smile every day, and we could make a pretty big difference. Think about that.
Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥

CrazyGirl Observes People

Today, a friend and I went to the local Starbucks for a study session, hoping to avoid the distractions of being on campus, we packed up our books and headed out. While we were sitting there, an older couple sat down next to us. Being the people watcher I am, I silently observed the couple. I noticed the worn, but beautiful rings that signified what I can only assume was years of marriage. I watched the familiar way they interacted, as if they had known each other forever. Intrigued by the love plainly written across their faces, I continued to observe this couple. I watched the way he looked at her, almost like he was falling in love all over again, every time he glanced her way, and they way she took his compliments bashfully, smiling and looking away and occasionally blushing.
Once they got their coffee, I watched as she leaned forward flirtatiously, watching his face as if he was the only person in the room. Suddenly, with a giggle, she reached forward and swiped some whipped cream off his coffee cup. He gave her a shocked look, then an adoring grin, as he swiped the whipped cream off of her coffee in retaliation. She giggled and smirked at him as if telling him to be ready for payback. That was when it hit me. This couple is flirting. It seriously made my day.
In today's world, it can be so rare to see couples still in love, or even still married. So, to witness this couple, obviously so familiar with each other and blatantly in love with each other, was such a blessing. I don't know if anyone else in Starbucks even picked up on their flirtations, or the way he took her hand while they were leaving. Maybe it's the hopeless romantic in me that caught it, but I'm so glad I did, because, quite simply, it made my day.
Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥

CrazyGirl observes the Wolf Pack

So, this story starts a few months ago, when I was introduced to this girl. She seemed funny, and sweet, and we seemed to click pretty well. The next morning, she messaged me on Facebook and said simply that she was glad to have met me and that she hoped we'd have the chance to become closer, and that she knew we would become good friends. That girl was Alex.
Little did I know her words were far from inaccurate. I was slightly busy when I met her; juggling first a 19.5 credit workload and a part-time job, then moving from that directly into two jobs that left me working pretty much all the time. But, we managed to hang out here and there. Then, I found out my amazing news about going to Simpson, and I kind of just dropped myself off the social radar. I mean, I saw people every once in a while, but my real focus was working and moving to Simpson. Then, I got scheduled to be selling smoothies at a festival here in town, and in a spur of the moment decision, I tweeted that I'd be there and that someone should come visit me. Well, Alex decided to take me up on that offer. She came with a friend of hers, and afterwards they invited me to go to In-N-Out with them. Part of me argued and said "No. Don't go, you have to work." But then this other part of me was like "Umm . . . hello? You're young. You haven't done anything social in ages. JUST GO." So, I went. That was the night I met Nic. He seemed fun, and funny, and he and Alex kept referring to "The Wolf Pack" (whatever the heck that was). I never realized I'd actually end up introduced to them.
A few nights later, Alex and I decided to hang out again, then we decided "Hey. Why not invite the guys?" (At this point I'd only met Nic.) So, in a spur-of-the-moment decision, we invited a group of guys I'd never met to hang out at my house. (I know, I've gone off the deep end, right?) That night it ended up being me, Alex, Nic, Spencer, Austin, and this guy Taylor. He was the second member of the Wolf Pack I met. He seemed pretty cool, a good sense of humor and whatnot. But, again, I was kinda pretty much 100% focused on Simpson, so I didn't think much of it.
Then, a few nights after that, I was introduced to the rest of the Wolf Pack. I met Corey and Drew, and was there with Alex and Taylor. We had a ton of fun that night, just hanging out and being ourselves. But, again, I didn't really think much of it. Then, the more I was around the Wolf Pack, the more I loved them all. They all have such great personalities, and are some of the most amazing friends a person could ask for. I could go back and tell you every memory with them, but I don't think I could do all the memories justice.
Needless to say, Alex, Corey, Nic, Drew, and Taylor have all come to mean so much to me, and if you had told me that just over a month ago, I would have told you that you were crazy. I was headed to Simpson, that was all that mattered, and the last thing I needed was an attachment to this little town. And, yet, here I am, with a week and a half left before I move, and I'm already dreading that goodbye. These are the kinds of friends you want to keep for a lifetime, people who accept you where you're at, who are there for you when you're down, and are happy for you when you're glad. They can make me laugh and I don't feel the need to pretend in front of them. I know that they always have my back, just like I always have theirs. And, while I'm still very much looking forward to all the adventures to come at Simpson, I can only say that I'm thankful for every last memory I have with this random, crazy, amazing, wonderful group of people who call themselves "The Wolf Pack" and I am so honored and blessed beyond belief to have been able to experience this time with them, and to be a part of their Wolf Pack. I will miss them all so dearly, and I will look forward to seeing them when I'm home. But, most of all, I want to make the most of every last moment this next week and a half with the Wolf Pack.
I love you guys so much, it amazes even me.

Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥

CrazyGirl observes Passions

Passion. Obsession. Insanity. Call it what you will, but everyone has something that they feel passionately about. For some, it's politics, for others, music, and there's even some out there with a passion for math. As for me, I find passion in the small things.
Waking up early when I'm camping, drinking hot coffee, and just soaking up my surroundings. There's just something so wonderful about that. Or in my baking. I mean, something about measuring, mixing, and then baking something is so wonderful it's therapeutic. Pulling a warm, savory smelling tray of muffins out of the oven? It's pure bliss.
I find passion in reading. I absolutely love being able to find a great book and just get lost in it. How amazing that someone can so eloquently phrase something, that you find yourself in a whole other world, just based off letters on a page. And music. I ADORE music. No, you're right, I couldn't carry a tune if I had a bucket to hold it in, but that's never stopped me from being passionate about music. I love getting lost in a song, when you can just completely relate to the lyrics, and the instruments are so perfectly played. I love when you can feel a song building; a soft intro with just piano or guitar, then they bring in the percussion and then the lyrics are just so powerful you're completely blown away. That's something I find passion in.
I also find passion in my writing. This blog, my journal, my poems, and my songs. My journal probably holds the best of my writing, because I allow myself to get so lost in the writing, not worrying about who will see it, and what they'll think. Which, occasionally leaves me stumped as to what I should write about on here. Not because I'm really concerned that someone might not like me, but because sometimes I wonder if people can actually handle what goes on in my mind. My second best writing is probably in my songs, because I really just express myself. I try not to force the lyrics, so I have notebook after notebook of little one liners I scratched down as they popped in my head. But, there is no feeling that really compares to being able to actually finish a song. After reading, rereading, and tweaking all the little details, then having it express what I want in a way that just flows. That's always so amazing to me. And, part of me wants to put my songs out there, then I do this thing where I type the whole thing out, get ready to post, and chicken out. Maybe someday though.
Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥