CrazyGirl observes Her Future

You know, there is a LOT about being at a University that makes you start REALLY thinking about what you want to do with your future. Obviously there is finding a major, but there are also a TON of people asking what it is you want to do with your life. Now, I'm not saying this is a bad thing, because it's not. But, it does make you start thinking.
Now, as most of you know, I'm at school to become a kindergarten teacher. BUT, what some of you may NOT know, is that if you ask me what I want to do with my life, being a kindergarten teacher is NOT the answer I will give you. Because, to me, being a kindergarten teacher is just a career to pass the time between now and when I get to start my real calling. To be a stay-at-home-mom. Now, I've heard the feminist rants about how I'm going against everything feminism has worked for and blah-di-blah-di-blah. (Which, FYI is a false statement, since feminism worked for the right to CHOOSE). But, that's not going to change my mind.
You see, ever since I was a little kid, I knew in my heart what I wanted to do. I wanted to dedicate my life to raising my family and to being an amazing wife to my husband. Now, when I decided this (at about four years old) I didn't really have much reasoning to support it. But, the older I've gotten, and the stronger in my beliefs on this subject, the more reasoning I've come to see. I was blessed enough to be raised by a stay-at-home-mom. She is an amazing woman of God, who has set a great example for us over the years. She was the soccer mom, the room mom, the mom who brought homemade cookies to every class party when that was actually still allowed in school. She made every birthday cake, and threw every party. She put up with us and our friends no matter how silly and loud we could be. As I got older, she became my confidant, and my best friend. I know to this day I can trust her with anything. I really and truly look up to my mom.
When I look back at my younger years, and the fact that me and my siblings were all younger and thus harder to handle, I realize my mom must have had the patience of a saint to put up with us, and an unconditional amount of love in her heart for the four of us kids. She is a HUGE part of the reason I want to be a stay-at-home-mom.
But, she's not the only reason. In the Bible, God calls us as women, once married, to submit to our husbands. In my personal opinion, I feel that dedicating time to building your family is a HUGE step of submission to your husband, and it's definitely one I'm willing to take. I know some girls feel called to huge careers or missions overseas, and there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with that. But, it's not my calling. I know that to some of you, the typical housewife gig holds little to no appeal, but I can't imagine doing anything else with my life. It just wouldn't be right. At least not for me. And I'm not saying that all of us are called to be wives and mothers, but I know that there is nothing else I want to do with my life. And God knows that too.
Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥

CrazyGirl observes Texting

Texting. It's a wonderful invention that allows me to stay connected to my friends both near and far. Same with Instant Messaging. I love that with just a few taps on the keyboard I can start a conversation with a friend that could possibly last all day. But, at the same time I hate texting.
You see, I used to enjoy texting my friends, seeing who was up to what, and then figuring out if anyone wanted to hang out. It was simple, convenient. Now that I've moved, it's still simple and convenient and a useful thing to use. But, I miss face-to-face conversations. Phone calls are nice, I love actually being able to hear someone's tone of voice, picture their facial expressions while we talk. Skype is even nicer. I get to see them (when the computer isn't freaking out on us) AND hear their voices. But, there is just nothing like a good, old-fashioned, face-to-face conversation. Honestly, I think most of us take those for granted. We are so used to seeing people everyday, face-to-face, that we don't think about what it might be like when that isn't an option anymore. Sometimes, the urge for a face-to-face conversation is so strong, I consider hopping in the car and driving home just for some quality time with my friends there.
Luckily, my friends love me as well, and two of them were amazing enough to drive up and spend some time with me at school. It was beyond wonderful. It was like combining the best parts of both worlds. And, sorry to those of you who prefer texting, but there is just something so wonderful about catching up with a real-life conversation. It was almost therapeutic. I'm one of the lucky few who lives close enough that I could drive home easily, but it was still so amazing to see my friends. Texting will never take the place of real friendship.
Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥

CrazyGirl observes Timing

Timing is a funny thing. It can make or break something. I constantly hear "Oh . . . the timing just wasn't right." And, that's rough, because really we can't do much of anything about the timing of things. But, God controls that, and I believe He truly does let things play out in the perfect timing. An example of this happened tonight.
You see, like most girls, I struggle with self-image. And, lately, I've been struggling with it a lot more than usual. Just this morning I was praying in frustration, asking God why suddenly I was experiencing these insecurities again, trying to make sense of this sudden bad perception of myself. Then tonight, I was sitting in the food court at the mall with my roommate, talking, laughing, you know, normal young people stuff, when a woman approached me. "Um, excuse me, well, I really just felt God calling me to talk to you tonight. You just have this light about you, and so I wanted to give you this." Then she handed me a note and walked away. Curious, I opened the note, and what I read inside almost brought me to tears. "I see a gold crown on you, and that you have a gold heart. I also see a lot of light over you. I feel this scripture is for you. Zechariah 9:14 'Then God will come into view, His arrows flashing like lightning . . . God of angel armies will protect . . . He'll rescue them. They'll become like sheep, gentle and soft, or like gemstones in a crown of the sun. The how they'll shine! Shimmer! Glow!' You're beautiful" Honestly, there might have been a point in my life where I would have been completely weirded out by that entire situation. But, I know we serve a mighty God, and He cares for each of us individually. And when one of His children is suffering, or doubting the beauty He created them to be, He likes to remind them of His power and love. I don't know if that woman will ever know just how much her short note affected me, but I pray she might somehow know.
Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥

CrazyGirl observes...herself...

So, I'm gonna get really honest with you all tonight. I can be very judgmental. I have, on more than one occasion, been the person sitting in church thinking "Oh my gosh. Did you see what she is wearing? *cough* skanky *cough*" and "What is he doing here? He definitely is a party boy during the week, and cusses up a storm when he's not at church. Ugh." I'm sure that at one point, most of us have had thoughts similar, although yours might not necessarily be as harsh as mine tend to be. And, since I'm being 100% honest with you all tonight, I'll admit, I didn't see the problem with this. I was in church, on my high horse, judging everyone who walked through the door. That was just the way it worked. My problem was, I failed to realize that I am no better than any of them, in fact, I might just be worse. 

But, I recently have come to realize the MAJOR error of my ways. I am NO better than ANYONE. And I have no right to think I am. I needed a reality check, and someone had to knock me off my high horse. Now, I'm sorry to disappoint those of you who are hoping for some tragic story of someone coming along and popping my ego, insulting me to the point where I realized how wrong I'd been, but that's not quite how it happened. In fact, I got a pretty gentle wake-up call. 

Most of you have heard me talk about the Wolf Pack, and they are definitely where this all started. You see, I probably would never have hung out with any of them. They didn't fit the "image" of the crowd I was supposed to be hanging out with, at least in my own head. And, even still I'm amazed at how God put them in my life. It was nothing short of a miracle. This amazing group of people were the least judgmental people I'd ever met. And, suddenly, I was left to look at my past behaviors. 

Then, I moved up to Simpson, and I watched as tons of people did the exact same thing I'd always done. And no one ever thinks it's wrong. But, last night, I was sitting at church and the pastor was talking about the 1 John 3:15 "Anyone who hates his brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him." I was again struck with this thought that I am no better than anyone else. If God is the only judge, then who am I to judge everyone else? I am not better than anyone. I don't sin any less. I am just as much a sinner as every person I pass on the streets. So what makes me think I'm any better? I tried justifying it with "Oh, it's just human nature" and "Well, everyone does it." But, in reality, I need to check myself. And knock off this judgmental habit of mine. I'm not saying it's gonna be an overnight transformation, it's definitely something I'm working on everyday. But I'm making progress, and that's something. 

Til Next Time,

CrazyGirl♥